


Wanderlust

by inexorablydrawn



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alpha Kylo Ren, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Discussions surrounding pregnancy/fertility, F/M, Loss of Virginity, Mating Bites, Mating Bond, Omega Rey (Star Wars), Rating May Change, Soulmates, Tags to be added, Virgin Rey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:07:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 22,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22124578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inexorablydrawn/pseuds/inexorablydrawn
Summary: Rey had spent her whole life pretending to be something she wasn't. She had hoped to live a perfectly average life without influence by her designation. But when fate calls to her, pulling her out of her city comforts, she finds out that accepting who she is might be far easier than being alone.-Modern AU Omegaverse Multi-chapter
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 123
Kudos: 601





	1. Chapter 1

Rey Jackson had been gifted in a few areas, so she had thought. She had an intellectual mind that helped her understand how pieces and parts worked together that helped her settle into her studies as a mechanical engineer. She was lucky enough to have a certain level of natural athleticism. Then she even thought she had a halfway-decent singing voice if she’d ever let anyone hear her long enough to confirm.   
  
Perhaps she _did_ have some advantages.  
  
But she’d spent her entire life hoping to go unnoticed.

And it had worked so far. No one had noticed the slight ways she may have stood out. No one spared a second glance when she walked down the busy city streets. She had somehow managed to keep herself buried and sheltered within the crowds and she couldn’t have been more relieved that it had actually worked.

Her teachers didn’t know. Her boss didn’t know. Even her closest friends hadn’t the slightest idea. All she had to do was keep this up for another seventy or eighty years and she’d be home free.

Though, unfortunately for her, one person did know. Her physician. The one person who had congratulated her on the day she presented after being sent home from school with a high fever. The one who acted like it was a good thing. She handed her a bunch of dusty pamphlets and a healthy dose of prescriptions that would keep her biology in check then sent Rey on her way.

All Rey could wonder after that was ‘what was the _point_?’.

What was the point of being something so rare, and apparently coveted, if it was only encouraged for her to keep that part of her controlled? She decided then and there that there wasn’t a point in telling anyone that she’d been born any different.

It had been four years since she'd ‘presented’ and she’d yet to come across another one of her kind. She knew she was _rare_ , which was probably the sole reason her doctor had congratulated her as if she’d achieved something, but sometimes, she’d just felt utterly alone.

After she presented, Rey had stopped wearing her hair up. With presenting came exposed scent glands, which thankfully were easily hidden under her shoulder-length chestnut hair. For some time that seemed to be the biggest adjustment in her life, aside from the number of pills she had to take each morning.Different sorts of suppressants and birth control lined her medicine cabinet, but if Rey had any hope of making it the rest of her life without a soul knowing what she was, she would have to be diligent.

After all, Alphas didn’t live in the cities. They weren’t biologically programmed for sharing space. So as long as Rey kept to the hustle and bustle of cramped living of city life, she would never have to worry about coming across the counterpart of her designation. She would never have to give in to the urge of what she was.

_Omega._

It had been the end of another long week as Rey tried to convince herself that her lightheadedness was only caused by the pressures of her daily life.

Poe Dameron, her roommate Finn’s boyfriend, but a friend in his own right, rambled on about some work mishap. All Rey wanted to do was fall asleep. Finn prodded at her shoulder from across the restaurant booth and she darted to attention.

“You okay there, Rey?” he said, sliding her a glass of water from across the table. Finn always insisted on having a _family_ dinner on Fridays, but today, Rey particularly regretted it.

“I’m just exhausted. Plutt had me working a double shift three times this week.” She sighed, sipping at the water in hopes that it would help.

“Is that even legal?” Rose, another member of their ' _family'_ , said as she took a mouthful of bread.

“Who knows…” Rey began to rub her temples.

“You really should take some time off,” Finn added, “You haven’t missed a day of work since I’ve known you. You should take a vacation.”

“You say that like you think I can afford it. The semester starts in a few weeks and I need all the work hours I can get before tuition is due.”

Finn, Rose, and Poe exchanged a quick look as if hoping one of them had an alternate solution.

“Guys, I’m fine.” Rey gave a careless gesture, addressing the concerned looks. “It’s my senior year, so only one more year of this grind and then hopefully everything will magically work itself out.”

The quip earned a sad laugh from the group and Rey fell into her palms. Another spell of vertigo hitting her.

“But for tonight, I might need to check out early. I need some sleep.” She looked over to Finn. “See you back at the apartment.”

—

She was just _tired_. This was just her body telling her that she needed to take the time to rest after working such long hours at the shop. She stumbled into her bedroom and her vision blurred again. _She’d feel better by morning,_ she tried convincing herself.

She’d taken all of her proper medications. She’d even double-checked the expiration dates just in case. They all still had plenty of shelf life so that couldn't have been the issue. Rey took a deep breath and tried to let relief find her. This wasn’t some strange biological side-effect of being an Omega. It couldn’t be. That was impossible. It was just stress and exhaustion.

Gazing into the mirror she lifted her hair slightly. It was an action she felt uncomfortable doing, even in private. She turned her neck to try to see if the gland at her nape showed any signs of irritation but it was simply too awkward of an angle to properly examine by herself. Still, she refused to touch it. Refused to give it any sort of acknowledgment that could inspire it to act up.

_She was just tired._

Rey stripped down to her underwear and slid into a pair of cotton shorts and a tank top. With concentrated breaths, she crawled into bed, telling herself on repeat: _‘Go to sleep.’_

Except, sleep never came. Rey tossed and turned as her legs ran a marathon in her sheets. Digging deep into her memory, she tried to recollect a time where she’d felt like this, but only one thing came to mind.She felt an uncontrollable need to move and escape the confines of her room. She flipped over to face her alarm which glowed a dim _4:32 AM_. Cursing under her breath, she rolled out of her bed back to her bathroom where she poured her day's dose of suppressants into her palm. It was too early to take them, technically, but a few hours difference wouldn’t be the biggest issue. Perhaps _that_ was what was happening, she must have burned off the suppressant too quickly given her long work hours.

She popped the pills into her mouth then filled her palm with water to wash it down. She didn’t think she felt warm, which Rey considered being a good sign. Her debut heat cycle when she first presented was quickly calmed by medication but was preceded with a high fever. She just hadn’t felt _so_ restless the first time.

Uncontrollable restlessness yet filled with exhaustion.

It was too early to go out for a run. She looked out her bathroom window and down to the street below. Several cars were beginning their morning commute and for the first time in her _life_ , the noise and lights of the city bothered her. She squinted at the streetlights as her head pounded from the sounds of cars zooming by. She needed quiet. Real quiet. She needed to get out of here.

Abandoning the pajamas, she tossed on a pair of leggings and a t-shirt and went as quietly as possible out the door as not to wake anyone after grabbing her bag. Perhaps a drive would do her good.

—

After what seemed like an eternity on the road, Rey felt a cool wave of relief. It washed over her like an ocean breeze and she’d hoped her peril might have finally ended. She had just needed to find some serenity. She just needed to drive and drive until she found it.   
  
Rey had parked her car by a campground she'd passed and leaped out to breathe the fresh air. After she stretched in the morning sun, forgetting any discomfort she'd been in, she started down a hiking trail. The air no longer inciting panic but now warming her body like a bonfire. How the air, mere hours from her home, suddenly smelled like morning due and crackling wood she couldn’t explain. At least, not until she heard a twig snap from behind her.

She jumped to face the noise. Her glance was met by nothing aside from the trees. While her heart pounded from the startle, her mind was in a fog. It was a newly uncomfortable sensation, different from the one she was in earlier. Mind and body working against each other. She began walking away, continuing her stride, when something shuffled behind her again.

But this time when she turned to face it, something was there. _Someone_.

A man. Unlike one Rey had ever seen. His eyes locked with hers but he said nothing. Her heart pounded like it was trying to break free from her chest but her mind couldn’t be bothered to flee. The invisible fog that surrounded her was a delectable prison.

The man, dark-haired and tall, took half a step forward. He cautiously approached as if she were a sheepish deer who would scatter at the first sign of trouble. Which, fairly, is what Rey wished to do, but her legs wouldn’t listen. She was frozen. Her vision blurred as each of her senses felt amplified in her veins. Blood pounded in her ears, her fingers shook at her sides, and then there was a warmth in her neck that made her feel dizzy all over again.

Still, he said nothing. But neither did she.

Then, suddenly, she didn’t want to run. She wanted to go with him. _Needed too._

And as soon as that very thought formed, Rey knew exactly what he was. The very creature she had hoped to spend a lifetime without. He was now an arm's length away and he began to reach out and the last thing Rey remembered seeing was his mouth open to speak before everything went black and she fell.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben Solo enters.

When Rey’s consciousness returned to her, she stretched out in a sea of comfort. While she hadn't opened her eyes immediately, she knew her surroundings felt unfamiliar. Most obviously, she was covered in what must have been the softest material she’d ever felt. She seemed to be buried in silk pillows and fuzzy blankets that cradled her like a child. She was delightfully at ease as if this was only a dream.

Her head lolled to one side and she took in the scent of the pillow beside her. The smell alone filled her with a sense of safety and home she'd never felt as she buried her face into it. For the briefest of moments, all her worries were gone, until her memories came flooding back to her.

She’d driven out of the city. She’d found a hiking trail. She’d walked for however long until… _him._

Rey flung up from where she had been sleeping and finally took note of her strange surroundings. She was in a house, that much was certain, but she wasn’t in a standard bed. She was in a large circular depression on the wooden floor, about a foot lower than the rest of the surface. The bowl was pilled full of pillows, blankets, and other cushions. One pillow, in particular, she still kept cradled close to her chest.   
  
She found some relief that she was still fully clothed, but that little relief was gone once she realized all her belongings were gone. Her phone, her wallet, anything that could identify her were no longer on her person.

“You’re awake,” a deep milky voice said from across the room. She turned to face the speaker who now stood in an open doorway.

“Where am I?” Rey spat and the man at the entry seemed slightly surprised. He took a step into the room and Rey knew it had been the same man from the forest earlier. The scent surrounded her anew. And as much as she wished for it to be, it wasn’t unpleasant.

“My house. I wasn’t going to leave an unmated Omega in the middle of the woods unconscious.”

She glared at the man. The way he said _unmated_ made her shiver. She was ten seconds into meeting her first Alpha and he was already speaking to her as if she were an animal.

“You know?” she said, unconsciously reaching for her scent gland, the _mating_ gland, before whipping her fingers away.

He stared at her with a bemused expression, cocking his head to the side like a dog given an instruction he didn’t quite understand. “Know what?”

“That I’m an Omega.”

“Of course?” he said, making her feel like it was the most obvious thing in the world. She’d gone her whole life without anyone figuring it out. But perhaps she was foolish to think it may go unnoticed to an Alpha. They were built for finding Omegas. “Your scent is strong, plus, I carried you here. It’s hard to ignore at that proximity.”

Rey flushed and the Alpha showed a small quirk of his mouth before taking another few small steps forward until Rey could stand it.

“Please, don’t come any closer!” she begged, covering her nostrils with one of the severe blankets that surrounded her.

“Do I really smell that awful to you?” He raised a brow, unsure if he should be offended or call her bluff.

 _‘No, actually, you smell quite wonderful,’_ Rey thought to herself as he thankfully obeyed her request to keep his distance.

But their eyes were still locked. Something simmered behind his eyes besides aggression. “Oh, do you have an Alpha who has yet to mate with you?” His gaze shifted, a flash of disappointment maybe, but mostly just stone.

“No, I just don’t trust you. I have no idea who you are.”

“My name is Ben Solo,” he said quickly, his demeanor changing ever so slightly yet again.

Rey’s lips folded into a tight line.

“And you are Rey Jakson,” he completed and Rey’s eyes widened in horror. “I went through your wallet to try to find an emergency contact, but alas, your Dex Diner punch card didn’t give me many leads.”

“ _Oh_.” Rey’s throat felt tight as she looked up to the high ceilings. As unnerved as she was, she couldn’t deny that the place was lovely. Oddly sculpted bedding, but nice. “I suppose you have my phone too?”

“Yes, but don’t worry, I couldn’t unlock it without a passcode. You can just call someone yourself to let them know you are alright.”

“Right…” Rey became quiet. The Alpha dug her phone from his pocket and leaned in to hand it to her. ' _Too close_ ,' her mind screamed. She fidgeted with the device in her hand before looking back up to him. “Actually, if it’s not too much trouble, could you just take me back to my car? I can drive home myself.”

“You just passed out for several hours, you are not safe to drive,” he said monotonously.

“If—If I called my friends I would have to tell them what really happened and that would just… change everything.” Rey admitted and a part of her felt good saying it.

The Alpha waited for more.

“They don’t know— about me,” Rey whispered. 

“About what?”

“That I’m an— uh— that I’m designated, okay?” her voice raised in frustration. “No one knows. No one ever needs to know. I haven’t even met an alpha until,” she pointed to Ben, “you.”

He swallowed hard at that, and something about that action made her stomach flip. He scratched the base of his neck and blinked a few times in shock before trying to speak. No words came out.

“I don’t want my friends to know,” Rey tried to begin but Ben began to talk over her.

“You’ve never been around your own kind before?”

“No.” She hated the way he said that. _Her own kind_. Like she could never truly be human. Even though, admittedly, there were times she thought that about herself.

“Look, if it makes you feel better, I’m not asking for you to stay as an Alpha, but as a medical professional.” He gestured to himself as if that proved anything. “I’m not going to stand by and let you drive home without the assurance that you are safe to do so.”

Rey recoiled at that. He sighed.

“I will not touch you. My mother is a doctor. She’s more versed in Omega health and she’s on her way. I can not legally provide you much medical help anyway.” He was beginning to sound strained. 

“It’s illegal for Alpha doctors to care for Omegas? That seems unnatural.” She didn’t know what motivated her to voice that concern, but it seemed to surprise Ben too.

“It’s more that it’s discouraged,” he began, “but I cannot treat you for other reasons.”

Quiet washed over the room.

“How long did you say I was out?” she said softly.

“Most of the day.” He pointed behind her.

Rey turned to a giant window that served as a full glass wall and witnessed the sun as it fell below the trees. When she faced back she took note of the pillow beside her that had smelled so wonderful. The one that she shamefully wanted to lift to her nose again.

“You gave me your pillow!” Rey barked, anger coming through in her voice. He knew that his smell could manipulate her to his whims.

“You started to thrash every time I left the room, even in your sleep. It was only so I could give you privacy,” he said firmly. 

She hated this. This was one hundred times worse than she’d ever imagined. She’d met one Alpha and she already, in her subconscious, couldn’t bear for him to leave the room. Even awake, she had to admit, she didn’t want him leaving again.

He still looked upon her with a stoic yet concentrated gaze.

“You’re my guest here. I’ll leave you alone until my mother arrives.” A muscle in his jaw tensed and he turned to leave.

“Where am I?” Rey blurted. Not sure if she was actually curious or if she just wanted him to stay a few seconds longer.

“Like I said, my house, a couple of miles from where you collapsed.”

He had carried her all that way? Rey stiffened and couldn’t help herself from fully taking in the Alpha’s massive size. He must have been more than twice her width and had an entire head on her in height. Everything about him was sturdy and thick in a way she hadn’t ever seen back home. No wonder Alphas didn’t live in the cities. There wouldn’t be room for them. She had a feeling that even if she ran at him with her entire body weight, he wouldn’t budge.

The idea petrified her.

“You are safe here,” he assured, one last time, “this room is designed for the comfort of your designation. You will not be locked in. You can leave to the main part of the house anytime. But in good consciousness, I cannot take you back to your car before my mother takes a look at you.”

She nodded. Feeling small and meek like any good Omega should. She looked down at her phone, knowing she could call her friends or even the police. And while a part of her was terrified, the other part of her knew she was safe. The Omega part. After all, his kind was designed to keep her safe.

A buzzing sound came from near Ben and he reached into his pocket to answer his own phone. He left the room without saying another word to her and shut the door behind him.

And Rey hated how she felt an ache in her heart already. She hated herself as she lied against the pillow he’d left and thankfully hadn’t taken back. She was never going to be free of this monster inside her. But, as the scent of him filled her nostrils, she couldn’t find the will to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks guys for reading the first couple chapters! I really appreciate it. This is just a fun cool down fic for me, so I hope it helps distract/bring joy to some of you guys!


	3. Chapter 3

Rey wasn’t sure how long it had been when she heard the knock at the door. She hadn't tried to leave since the Alpha left. She thought she may have even drifted off to sleep again. Jolting up from the bedding she watched the door, waiting for the man to enter, but he didn’t.

“Rey?” It was a woman’s voice. One unfamiliar to her. “May I come in?”

It was then she recalled that Ben had mentioned that he’d sent for a doctor, his own _mother,_ apparently. Rey managed to squeak out a “Yes” and the door slowly opened. No Alpha to be seen.

The woman who appeared before her looked nothing like a woman who could have carried to term something like the beast that was her son. She was short and petite, but Rey supposed she did notice a similarity in their eyes. Her brown hair streaked with grey was tied back into a braid that wrapped like a crown around her head. She didn’t look much like a doctor in her casual dress, but she had an energy very much like a mother. 

“Ben filled me in on what happened and how you got here.” She took a cautious step forward. “It sounds like your body is rejecting your suppressants if you are taking them. I've seen these symptoms before.” She had a sour face at the word ' _suppressant_ '. 

“I’ve taken the same suppressants since I… _presented_.” It was so strange for Rey to say these words out loud. She never had before. “I’ve never had this issue, I think I’m just overworked.” 

That’s when the woman looked down at the pillow Rey had been cradling in her arms. She held it tightly to herself like a security blanket. Rey flushed and tossed the pillow aside. 

The woman sat next to the lip of the depression in the wood floor. “Well, I just want to be sure. Suppressants are dangerous for our kind. We aren’t meant to take them.”

_ So she was an Omega too. _

“My name is Leia,” the woman said after a moment, realizing she’d yet to introduce herself. “I’m actually a doctor who specializes specifically in Alpha and Omega care.”

Rey nodded.

“Beta doctors hand out suppressants like candy these days. They are awful and cruel medications in my opinion. Sure, they are nice to have as a backup, but they were never meant for daily use,” she started and Rey looked away, “If you don’t mind me asking when was your last heat cycle?”

Rey’s blush deepened. “Uh, one sort of started when I presented. But they gave me a shot for it, so I didn’t fully experience it.”

The woman, Leia, looked to be in shock. “That’s not good.”

“The doctor said—“

“Rey, tell me exactly what you experienced before you made it here. What _brought_ you here?”

“I don’t know. I was really dizzy and restless but exhausted at the same time. The lights and sounds of the city started giving me a headache so I went for a drive and—“ Rey realized she didn’t really remember much else. She didn’t remember which roads she took or how long she’d really driven. “I ran into _him_ and then I passed out. It was all just really overwhelming.”

Leia pinched between her brow.“I’m going to make a few calls for you, see if there is an Omega facility with an opening.”

“W-Why?”

“I’m going to check your vitals first, but I’m pretty sure my initial assumptions were correct. Your body is rejecting the suppressants. You’ll probably start feeling heat symptoms extremely soon, within the next couple days.”

Rey felt her heart dive headfirst into her gut. “Just give me another shot or something! My medication is at home. I can’t— I can’t!”

Leia slid around the circle until she reached Rey. “It’s alright. It’s natural. I know it’s scary, but it will be okay. There are facilities built for Omegas without mates. I know some wonderful ones that are essentially spas.”

“I can’t afford anything like that!” Rey squirmed. Her heart was pounding again. She was going to be extremely sick. 

It was then she took in her surroundings once more. The odd bedding depression in the floor. The entire wall of window that looked out into what seemed like an endless forest. That's when it truly hit her that she was being kept in some sort of weird Omega nest and she jumped out of it despite how warm and comfortable it had been. 

Leia reached for her hand. “If you are worried about the money, I can assure you we could figure it out.”

“Am I in some sort of Omega prison?!” Rey gasped, scrambling back towards the wall, looking around at the different luxuries that were all structured around Omega comfort. 

“Most Alphas build their homes with designated rooms for their mates-- if they intend on having one at some point,” Leia responded carefully, essentially what her son had said, as if this sort of thing was normal for them, “It’s not intended to keep you here. Just additional comfort rooms for their mates when they are in heat cycles.”

She couldn’t breathe. 

“I promise, Rey, I won’t leave you in a situation you feel uncomfortable with. I’ve asked my son not to come near this room until you decide what you want to do. But I cannot let you drive home in this condition. I really must insist on taking you to a clinic, or if you are worried about the money we could ask my son to go to a hotel instead, and you could have this place to yourself. I’d be nearby just in case.”

This was awful. 

“How—how bad is it? Heat that is?” Rey squeaked. 

“It’s been some time for me,” Leia admitted, gesturing to herself, “I’m out of that phase in my life, but I won’t lie Rey, they can be some of the best of times and worst. But those best of times comes with having a partner.”

She swallowed. 

“I’m going to get some things from my car to take your vitals.” Leia stood with some struggle, “we can talk more about what to do then.”

Rey looked towards the woods, the sunset peaking through the trees in brilliant streams of light. And all her treacherous body wanted to do was _smell_ him again. 


	4. Chapter 4

“I have to get out of here,” Ben muttered wildly to himself as he walked briskly around his living room.

“You’re fine.” His mother sat on the couch watching him. Observing him. He always felt more like a study subject than a son in her presence and he wrapped his arms around his chest.

“You must have smelled it on her? It’s… potent,” he said in a near growl and Leia rolled her eyes in response. Rolled her eyes like the very existence of Alpha’s inconvenienced her. It was probably true in her defense.

“My senses aren’t what they used to be, but the symptoms are there. Her vitals are also showing signs. Her temperature is slightly elevated.”

He felt something guttural in his throat.

“I can smell it from out here. It must have come in on the breeze when you opened the door and it’s tainted everything.” Ben felt like his lungs might collapse. Leia only frowned.

“I sure as hell hope you didn’t act this way around her. No wonder she’s so frightened.”

“I didn’t!” He snapped, not quite from frustration with his mother but from a sort of ache he couldn’t put into words. “I was fine in there. Stoic even.”

Leia shook her head as she doubted him. But he swore to himself he had been fine. Sure, the pillow thing was a little weird but he couldn’t be in that room any longer without certainly _not_ being fine. And every time he'd left she’d whimper or thrash, calling out to him in her sleep. It was driving him mad. It went against every one of his god damned Alpha instincts to leave her in any sort of discomfort. Especially when it somehow caused her subconscious pain when he was gone.

“You did give her something with your scent on it,” Leia said, reading his mind in only a way a mother could. She didn’t say it judgmentally, but he knew there was some scolding in her observation. He was a 30-year-old male who had been living on his own for over a decade and his mother still treated him like an oversized pup.

“I told you, she must have become accustomed to my scent when I carried her here. It was for both of our sakes.” He imagined her back in her arms again, cuddled up against his chest like she’d chosen to be there.

Leia became silent. She looked back to the room the Omega was still in, the door still shut. Ben hoped she was resting again, rather than being scared stiff.

Then panic hit him when he thought that she was probably hungry. She hadn’t eaten all day. The sun had nearly set and she hadn’t eaten since he’d found her that morning. He jumped. Running to the kitchen where his mother reluctantly followed.

“God damn these Beta doctors and their suppressants,” his mother continued to ramble. This had become one of her hills to die on in her later years.

When Ben was younger, Leia had encouraged him to take blockers and suppressants. He’d been on them for most of his young adult life. But, one by one, more studies came out about the long term side effects. The “Burn” effect as it became known. When eventually the designation burned away any artificial hormone or chemical and took over fully. It led to a split in one's personality. The designation and the human. Two separate entities that were supposed to be one and the same.

“The Omega in her is probably just begging to get out. I just hope she’s young enough to stop anything long term like you. She seems pretty coherent now. If she stops taking those damn pills I think she’ll be alright.”

Once he’d stopped taking the pills the “burn” wore off. The Alpha became part of him again rather than the part that took over.The Alpha part of him was dominant by nature, but he could control it. He could. At least, that’s what he told himself as he slapped a pile of deli turkey onto a slice of bread.

“Take this to her.” Ben handed his mother the plate with the haphazardly made sandwich then reached into a drawer and pulled out a granola and protein bar. “Tell her there are cold waters and other drinks in the fridge by the window. She can have whatever she wants.”

Leia’s lips went into a thin line. She looked at the plate and blinked. “You don’t want to bring it to her?”

“God, of course, I want too. You know I can’t. I need to get out of here. It’s only going to get worse the longer I stay.”

The woman only continued to stare. Like she knew he was going to be the one to go in there whether he liked it or not. Like she knew he couldn’t leave without seeing her again. Like she _knew_ it was killing him to have her so close and to not care for her.

The act of bringing the girl nourishment alone wasn’t sinful or wrong in itself. It was in his nature. The Omega couldn’t fault him for that.

“Fine,” he muttered and Leia smiled knowingly to herself.

Feeling the blaze of his mother watching against his back, he knocked against the door. “Rey?” He heard the mumble of chatter on the other side. She must have decided to contact someone after all. A wave of both relief and anxiety filled him. 

Without waiting for a proper response, he opened the door to have his suspicions confirmed. Rey, who was now sitting cross-legged atop the bedding, had her phone pressed against her face.

“I just—I decided to go on a vacation after all,” she said looking up and taking note that Ben had entered the room. Her mouth opened slightly then she lit up at the sight of the food. “Just for a couple of days. I’m alright. I—“ she hesitated before she finished, “—promise. Look I gotta go, I’ll call in the morning, alright?”

After she set the phone down she gazed back at Ben. He felt his heart skip.

_Keep it together._

“Um, I brought you something to eat. I realized you hadn’t eaten all day. Then you had to be poked and prodded by mother.” He bent down next to her to hand her the plate then jumped back once she had it firmly in her hands.

She was so pretty. She had sharp expressive eyes. A wide stunning mouth. Freckles that were spattered across her nose like flecks of stardust. It was an effort just to stop himself from smiling just by looking at her.

_Stop it._

“I called my friends,” she said, slowly unwrapping the protein bar, “I’d been stressed at work the last few days, so I told them I’m taking a bit of a vacation.” She looked distant. “I’ll have to call work too, God, I’ll probably lose my job.”

There was a glaze in her eyes. A glaze that told Ben she was dangerously close to letting tears fall.

“It’ll be alright. It’s illegal to be fired for—uh—cycle-related reasons. There are laws in place to protect you from that happening.”

She let out a short exhausted snort.

“But that involves telling my boss the truth, and honestly, he’s the last person I want to know.” She shivered and Ben felt the urge to find whoever this man was and rip out his throat. He took in a deep breath through his nose.

“Why are you so afraid of letting people know who you are?” he asked, looking back at the still open door, knowing his mother was probably eavesdropping at this very moment. Knowing she was probably forcing him to have this interaction so she could take notes on it.

“It’s _weird_ ,” Rey said simply and Ben felt himself frown. “ _Come on!_ You can’t pretend like all this shit we go through is normal?”

“It’s all I’ve known. It’s normal for me.”

“Well, I grew up in the real world. Around real normal people. What we are isn’t normal.”

“You mean Betas?” Ben corrected but Rey ignored him.

“Normal people interact with their eyes and ears, not their noses and tongues. They talk to each other rather than just scenting or licking or whatever.”

Ben couldn’t help but notice she was still sitting dangerously close to the pillow he’d left.

“Is everything you know about being designated from porn?” Ben asked with genuine curiosity and Rey turned bright red.

“Excuse me?” she coughed out.

He hadn’t even thought about the implications of her having to admit the kind of porn she watched when he asked. His ears heated.

“There is just a lot more to it,” Ben fumbled to cover up and he swore he heard his mother laugh from the room over. “It’s more than tongues and teeth and scents—“

_He needs to stop talking. Now._

“It doesn’t feel like it,” she said, taking a large bite of the bar, more desperate to refuse eye contact than ever. “I know we are born with some natural advantages, but it all comes down to the—“ she gestured awkwardly between them, “you know.”

The sex. Reproduction. Mating. She probably meant all of it.

“I’m sorry you feel that way.” He didn’t know how else to respond.

The room grew quiet. Ben hopped up on the balls of his feet.

“Your mom said I could stay here for the night. She’d monitor me for any changes. Then she’d help me find a place to stay in the morning.”

While this was news to Ben he was relieved to hear it. Though it sounded like Ben’s mother had invited herself to stay as well, he didn’t mind. He needed to know how she was doing just for just a little longer. He could let her go to some facility tomorrow… just not yet.

“That’s fine. Perfectly fine. Take all the time you need. If you need me to leave the house for a few days you can sta—“

Rey put a hand up to stop him.

“Thanks.” She _laughed_. A sound that shot straight through him. “But this is _your_ home. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

Ben felt very differently about that.

Then Rey finally looked at him, and he had a feeling she didn’t truly feel that way either.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I am... thinking I can write a 10k fic and be done with it.   
> Yeah it's probably gonna be closer to 15 at this point. I wanted this to be a fun short little story about finding your soulmate but now I keep coming up with more ideas! (I mean, it still will be a cute fun short story about finding your soulmate, just more details)

_God help her._

She was lounging in a nest of pure heaven. The pillows must have been made out of clouds and the silken blankets were like warm water washing over her skin. For the first time in her recent memory she’d managed to feel safe and warm and at peace and everything was in place for a restful night's sleep until she turned to hug the pillow Ben had given to her to discover that it no longer smelled like him. It only smelled like her. She’d tainted it. She jolted up. 

She hated herself.

She hated herself for caring about it, but she hated herself more for ruining such a pleasant smell.

 _“Hold yourself together, Woman!”_ Rey growled. She wasn’t this sort of woman. She wouldn’t be ruled by her baser needs. She could fall asleep without the gentle scent of an alpha warming her airways. She could.

If the doctor, Leia, had been correct, the Omega inside her had burned away her suppressants by now. Had burnt them whole and had left her to suffer. This would be the first time she’d experience her 'true' self since she’d presented.   
  
And if this supposed 'true' self whined herself sick over a scent, she didn’t want to be this person.   
  
She wanted to go back to being a normal girl who had normal crushes based off qualities like if they had things in common or he was nice or cute—

She supposed he _was_ cute. Something about him was jarringly masculine yet soft at the same time. He had a lovely mouth and the most wonderful hair that she would have done anything to touch—

_Stop._

She flopped down on the bedding again. Pressing her face directly down into the sheets. She needed to stop thinking about him. This man was a perfect stranger. She knew his name and that he worked in medicine and that was nothing. She didn’t know nearly enough about him to fantasize about him.

She supposed most people fantasized about less—

Some people even had sex for less—

_STOP STOP STOP._

This was ridiculous. She wasn’t supposed to be one of _those_ Omegas. She had never been one of those Omegas. She worked so hard to not be one of those Omegas. But now, the way she squirmed in the blankets, seemed to prove overwise. _Were the suppressants she’d been taking really affecting her this much? Had she really been numbing herself for years?_

She jumped up from the bedding, crawling out of it like it was suddenly scalding. She was restless again. The pillow was a comfort object in this strange home and in her omega mind she was betrayed by it for no longer smelling like _him_. She just needed to get rid of the object and she would be better. If she returned it to him, she could move on and fall asleep.

Snatching the treacherous object, she moved towards the door. Careful not to create too much noise. Her hands shook as she reached towards the knob and she realized she had yet to leave this room since she’d arrived and she had no idea what she was about to set foot into. The sun had set some time ago, and the home had been brutally quite. She’d assumed Ben and Leia had already been asleep. 

The door creaked open and Rey peered out into the next room to find Leia asleep on the couch bundled in blankets, looking rather peaceful. Rey held her breath. She toed out into what looked to be the living room as to not wake the mother who slept soundly just feet away.

It wasn’t surprising to find that the rest of the house was as clean and spacious as the room she’d been in, but surely there had been another room for Leia to sleep in that was better than the couch.Unless Leia had wanted to be nearby in case Rey needed help. She didn’t linger on the thought without feeling guilty. She couldn’t.

Now that she entered the space, _his space_ , the calling was irresistible. He must not have spent too much of his time in the room she’d been in, because this new room was overwhelming. And before she could even realize what she was doing she was halfway up the staircase to the second floor. Following the strengthening scent as if she could see it.

As she reached the top of the stairs she could see the light at the end of the hall. He was awake. Rey felt herself smile but then she came crashing back into her body.

_What the hell was she doing?_

She cursed, looking down at the pillow she still clutched against her chest, but yet she found herself unable to turn around. Then she took another step forward, not knowing what exactly she intended to do next then the door opened and Ben stood in the frame. His wide body nearly blocking out the light. And he was completely bare from the waist up. Broad and muscled. 

The two only stared at each other for a moment before the man spoke.

“I thought I heard noises, I thought you were maybe my mom.” He started, swallowing hard.

Rey didn’t know what to say. Her logic and reasoning for being here didn’t even make sense to her anymore. It had made sense downstairs. 

“I— I’m bringing your pillow back. I thought you might need it.” Rey choked out, thankful that it wasn’t necessarily a lie.He looked strangely hurt for a moment before the look in his eye faded into indifference again.

As quickly as she could she walked toward him and tossed the pillow back at his chest.  
  
Unconsciously she breathed sharply through her nose and her knees almost gave out. A shiver ran down her spine. She’s shouldn’t be here. This is his space. Everything about it smells like him. And everything about his scent made her feel warm and calm and almost drunk.

He eyed the pillow, now in his hands, and the corner of his mouth quirked up. Then Rey knew she’d been found out. She felt the flush through her entire body.

“I have other pillows I could have used,” he said and she could have slapped him for the slight smugness in his tone. “But this one only smells like you now.” The gravel in his voice as he said it shot through her.

“I’m sorry,” she said, not quite knowing what she was apologizing for.

“Don’t be, I like it.” The smugness faded into something soft, and soon they were staring again.

She should have been terrified. She wished she was terrified. But she wasn’t.

“Let me get you another one,” he said breaking his gaze and turning back into the bedroom, Rey felt herself follow him like she'd been invited. “You don’t have to be shy about this kind of stuff, I know it might seem embarrassing— but it’s perfectly normal for you to react to an Alpha’s scent positively.”

Rey didn’t respond. She just watched as he placed the pillow back in his bed and was filled with the pride knowing he’d be sleeping with her scent now, and she hoped it brought him just as much turmoil.

“I know you have only been around Betas, so all of this may seem a little unnatural. But I promise you—“ his voice wavered “— I’m flattered.”

Something within her swelled but she did everything she could to quiet that feeling as she watched the muscles in his arms and abdomen shift as he moved. She was right to stay away from their kind all these years. She wouldn’t have lasted.

“Rey?” The way he said her name snapped her out of her daze. He was holding another pillow in his hands. Ready to hand it to her. Then, seemingly aware of his own bareness, he flushed. “Oh, I’m sorry, I wasn’t even thinking.”

They were surely both beet red now, even as Rey struggled to find words. All she wanted was to be close to him. That was the only thing that made sense. Somewhere in her mind, she knew that was the right thing.

“No—“ she stammered, still trying hard not to look at him, “I’m sorry.”She felt something tighten in her throat and she knew she was about to burst into tears. She hadn’t cried, truly cried, in a long time, and she knew she was on the brink of it.

Perhaps it was the medication leaving her system, or her oncoming heat cycle, or maybe it was just all of this being too much too soon. But before she knew it, a tear fell, and she was being wrapped in a pair of large arms, her wet cheek pressed to the skin of his chest.

“I don’t know what’s happening to me.” She sobbed fully unsure what to do with her arms but not wanting to push away. “I feel so stupid.”

She felt his fingers at the base of her neck. So close to the spot she both needed him to ignore and acknowledge.Her breath was panicked and unsteady as more and more tears escaped her eyes.

“It’s going to be a big change,” he said, low and slow. The vibrations of his voice flowing through her like the very blood in her veins. “But you’re not alone.”

“I—“ This man. This man who she’d just met now knew more about her than any of her friends. He knew her most intimate secret. She didn’t have to hide here. “I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

“You don’t need to be.”


	6. Chapter 6

This was everything he’d dreamed about. This was everything he wished he could get used too but couldn’t. He couldn’t let himself hope for that future, that one in his grasp, where he would wake every morning with a mate in his arms. Her limbs were woven with his as if she’d dreamed the same thing. He couldn’t let himself be calmed by her steady breath as it warmed the skin of his chest. He couldn’t cherish the slight pressure of her arms around his abdomen, holding him close, as she needed him too. He couldn’t let himself smile as he drew small circles against her back as she released a gentle snore.

Not yet.

The whole room would no doubt be tainted by her scent now. Though they hadn't done anything aside from sleep, he really couldn’t remember how they got in this position. And now, he was certainly ruined by her. This small creature who was so scared and lost who found him and needed him.

As carefully as he could not to wake her, he lifted her closer. Her scent filled his lungs. One that lured him in like a moth to a flame.

Every moment her suppressants worked their way out of her system, the scent became more and more intoxicating. The scent of promise. The scent of heat. He pressed his nose against her hairline and only prayed that she wouldn’t—couldn’t leave him.

He knew now, he should have left when he had the chance. He knew it would have been the responsible thing to do. To not let his presence sway her already confused mind.But if she asked him to stay, he didn’t think he could say no.

Before they had fallen asleep, as they were just mumbling little nothings to each other, Rey had revealed that she didn’t know if her Omega had been a genetic trait or spontaneous. She hadn’t known her biological parents. Not that it mattered much if her parents were designated or not when it came to her upbringing.Ben came from a family of Alphas and Omegas and it had done nothing for his reputation.If anything, it had only damaged it when his medical license had been suspended after the _incident_.

Suddenly, Rey stirred, and Ben worried that she would panic awakening next to a near stranger.Perhaps she wasn’t aware or wouldn’t remember what happened last night. Maybe she should think it was all some sort of Omega induced haze. He backed away from her slightly to be able to look down at her and to his relief, she didn’t shriek when her eyes blinked open. He was almost sure she looked relieved.

“How are you feeling?” he asked after a minute, still carefully drawing shapes against her skin.

“Stupid and a little embarrassed,” she said with a soft laugh, “but overall, better.”

Ben couldn’t help but let out a snort. “If it helps, I feel the same way. The better part of it, not the embarrassed part.”

“Well, you weren’t the one sneaking off to someone's bedroom in the middle of the night because you missed their—um— smell.”

“True, but I’m glad you were.”

They both went silent, refusing to remove themselves from the other. Ben tried to push down the feelings of how _right_ this felt, but he couldn’t. Even though they were only tangled in each other's limbs, mostly clothes, he felt like in heat it would feel the same way.

“How—“ she started, looking at him with rested hazel eyes, “How do I feel like I know you? Like really know you? Like I’ve known you for years? Is this some sort of Alpha thing?”

Ben thought. The truth was, he wasn’t entirely sure. He’d been around Alphas and Omegas his entire life and never had he’d experienced such an instant curiously. Interest. Connection. But instead of being entirely truthful, mostly in fear that the fact may scare her, he only said, “in some cases.”

Then her stomach gave a loud growl and she blushed, clutching the source of the noise.

“Are you hungry?” he asked, resisting the pull of the smile.

“A little,” Rey said, sounding a bit disappointed in herself.

“You stay here, I’ll go get you something. Do you like eggs? Bacon?”

“I like everything and anything,” she said with a light chuckle and Ben regrettably began to untangle himself from her.

“Then you shall have it.” Then before he could think better of it, he pressed his lips against her hairline and stiffened. It was instinctual. Unconscious. He froze briefly in terror before backing away. She only looked at him with a slightly bemused expression. “I—I will be right back.”

As he rolled out of bed, still acutely aware he wasn’t wearing a shirt, he bolted from his bedroom.But not before noticing her fingers softly touch the spot on her forehead where her lips had touched.

When Ben reached the main floor, sure enough, his mother was already perched at the counter. Looking at him with an expression halfway between disappointed and proud. Her signature look.

“How did you sleep?” She asked, nibbling away on a piece of toast she’d helped herself too.

Of course, she already knew. The slight quirk of her lips told Ben enough.

“Fine. Nothing indecent happened if that’s what you are worried about,” he grumbled, walking over to the fridge for ingredients.

“I wasn’t.” She shrugged. “The girl was so cute last night, trying to sneak out without waking me.At first, I thought she was trying to make a break for it, leave the house entirely, but she surprised me a bit when she went straight for you.”

“I should have known she wouldn’t have gotten passed you unscathed.”

“Reminds me of your teenage years.”

Ben rolled his eyes.

“Well, I sure hope you are more charming to her than you are to me.” Leia pointed a butter knife at him accusingly. “All the signs are pointing to—“

“It’s been a day.” Ben tried to sound as unaffected as possible. But he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t had the same thought.

“I know,” Leia began and Ben could hear the shift between mother and researcher in her voice. “But the circumstances of how you met, it isn’t normal. Even for designations. Sure it may be a coincidence, but the fact her Omega side came and found you without direction from a hundred miles away piques my interest.”

As it did his as well. “We don’t know if that means anything.”

“I don’t, but I think you do.”

He refused to respond. Especially because the girl in his bedroom could choose to leave at any moment. He couldn’t let his mother know how much that would break him.

“Just don’t tell her any of that,” Ben groaned, giving in a little.He turned to crack a couple of eggs over a pan. “I don’t want to scare her even more than she already is.”

“She deserves to know.”

“I know. But she feels like she doesn’t have any control over who she is right now. If I told her she might not even have control over choosing me—“

Leia sighed as Ben trailed off, watching the yolks solidify. “If she hadn’t been so isolated from her kind her whole life she’d be relieved. Some of us spend our whole lives looking for our one mate.”

The words shot through him like an arrow. “I don’t even know if that’s her yet.”

“If she asked you to stay for— what’s to come— would you?”

Ben’s mouth went dry. “I don’t think I could say no… but I’m not sure if it’s better for her if I leave.”

Leia pondered that before she drifted elsewhere. As a son, Ben was thankful for that, as open as Leia tried to be with him about their biology, she was still his mother at the end of the day. He’d rather not be having this conversation with her.

“She needs some fresh clothes.” Leia murmured, more to herself, after a moment.

“What?”

“Even if she leaves, or stays, she only has the clothes she wore here. She’ll need something to change into for the next week.”

Ben supposed that was true.

“I’m going to ask for her sizes. I’ll go run out and get her some things. Maybe a few groceries too.” Leia slid off the stood and walked straight for the staircase. Ben’s cheeks heated.

“Just don’t embarrass her when you go up there.She probably thinks you will think— I swear nothing happened.”

“I believe you,” Leia said, but he knew Rey would likely still be mortified. This was not a normal situation at all, even for designations.

He’d nearly broken down yesterday when he’d first met her. But the second she’d said she’d wanted him, in any sort of capacity, something almost like ease had filled him.

Now the idea of being sent away, or watching her leave, was almost too much to bear. He’d let himself hope, as he laid down a slice of bacon, that she was truly meant to find him. That this pain might finally be over. This endless longing that haunted him from the day he presented might finally come to an end.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long for the update, well, needless to say, I have a lot more time right now. Hah!

Rey devoured the meal Ben had given her in an embarrassingly short amount of time. She stared down at the empty plate as she finished debating whether or not the crumbs were worth it. Her tongue darted at the entrance of her lips as Ben resisted laughing.

“Do you want me to make you more?”

_Yes._

But the fact that Rey was still in his bed, letting his mother shop for her, _and_ eating the food from his fridge, had her hesitate. She was already asking too much from him. There was all of that plus the daunting question in the back of her mind that she ached to ask.

“No, I’m fine.”

Ben chewed his lip and she sensed that he recognized her lie. She was still ravenous. More so than usual. She was useless and ravenous and looking at him made her head spin. His scent made her dizzy. But not a sick sort of dizzy but rather a euphoric sort of dizzy in which she wasn’t entirely sure she was actually awake.

He took a step closer and kneeled next to the bed. With a finger, he reached up to move a strand of hair away from her face that had made it into her mouth while she ate. 

“You look nearly feral,” he said, his voice quiet and deep, almost like he didn’t intend to say the thought out loud. Rey blushed as she felt a pang of hurt in her chest as a voice inside her told her that no Alpha would want a _feral_ mate. 

But his hand lingered on her cheek a moment too long and she couldn’t help but lean into it. To savor the warmth that radiated from his palm. She swallowed, forgetting herself. But maybe she wanted too. To forget the person she’d forced herself to be for so many years.

“Have you made your decision yet?” he said, the words reverberating in her skin, waking her slightly from her dream. Her eyes fluttered opened and she almost couldn’t process what he had asked. “Will you leave with my mother to a care center? Or do you wish for me to leave you here? I do not mind, I promise. I want you to be somewhere safe.”

His eyes were such a beautiful shade of golden brown.

“Are those my only options?” She asked, her voice nearly a whisper.

She couldn’t believe those words fell out of her mouth. She did not know this man. Not really. But she knew she wanted to be wrapped in his arms the minute her breakfast plate was out of her lap. She wanted to fall asleep against his chest and have him rub her neck and touch her—

The gland at her nap ached. Ben visibly shuddered and the muscle in his jaw twitched.

There was a war behind his eyes. She knew it.

Just as there was a war within herself. A war between her sensible self, the one who had been able to exist with suppressants these part years and the Omega self, her true self, she supposed. The one who just wanted to know what it was like to be who she was truly born to be. The longer she was off the suppressants the louder her impulsive side spoke. The louder the need was to be free.

It didn’t help that the man across from her was intoxicating. Intoxicating in a good or bad way she didn’t know, but she couldn’t deny that she wanted to find out. If he was willing to share this with her.

Her heart plummeted into her stomach at the thought. She didn’t think much about the possibility he’d say no if she’d asked him to stay with her. She had just assumed most Alphas would jump at the opportunity to spend a heat with an Omega. Perhaps that was wrong of her. She didn’t have much sexual experience, in fact, it was more appropriate to say that she didn’t have any. Maybe that would scare him away.

He probably wouldn’t want some inexperienced feral omega who didn’t know the first thing about being designated. About pleasing an Alpha. He probably wanted a woman who was ready to be mated and a mother and she was far too green for that.

“Rey?” His voice snapped her out of her daze. “What are you asking?”

The rasp in his voice implied he knew exactly what she was asking, and Rey wished she could work up the courage for a more direct appeal. But the words wouldn’t come.

She wasn’t sure how long she had until full heat took over. While she wasn’t too uncomfortable at the moment, there was a certain itch on her skin. One that could only be satiated by another's hands.

She crossed her legs under the bedsheets. Maybe she had less time than she thought.

Their eyes met again and neither spoke for what seemed like minutes as Rey battled with herself to say the words she knew she so wanted so desperately to say.

So instead she said this:

“You said you were in medicine? Are you a doctor? Like your mom?”

Any heat that was in his stare vanished as he recoiled slightly and Rey had to fight the urge to slap herself for being so stupid. “I have a medical degree,” he said, with a voice colder than she’d ever heard. She wondered, maybe even hoped, it was because he was disappointed that she hadn’t been able to ask him what she really wanted too.

“Do you specialize in Alpha health?” she said and he shook his head, his mouth a thin line as he contemplated his response.

“When I practiced, I was a surgeon.”

“You don’t practice anymore?”

“No. Now I assist my mother in her research.”

Rey nodded, intently listening but not liking how far away he now sounded. Her brows furrowed and worry crossed her face. Ben cocked his head slightly and matched her expression.

“I’m sorry, it’s difficult for me to talk about it. My job. I don’t want you to feel like I’m not interested in sharing with you. Especially if you—“ he stopped himself, looking back to her with sudden interest. A look like made the hair on her arms stand on end. “My license was suspended,” he started as his interest once again shifted into nerves, “my father died while I was on call. I wasn’t supposed to operate, I hadn't slept and it’s not ethical to operate on a family member, but it was an emergency and the only other surgeon available was a man I wouldn’t trust within an inch of my life. My father died regardless. I reacted poorly, I—“ he looked as if he wanted to say more, but his mouth calmed shit. “Regardless I was suspended.”

“I’m sorry,” Rey said after a painful silence.

“No, I’m sorry... I didn’t mean to unload like that.” He said, rubbing his brow bone. “Oversharing is one of my specialties I guess.”

“It’s fine, I did the same with you last night!”

Just then, the sound of the front door opening echoed down the hall to the bedroom. Both of them startled back with unsteady breath.

“That must be my mother,” he said quickly, looking back to the open door.

“Ah.” She couldn’t help feeling oddly disappointed by that. She wanted to be alone with him. Just a little bit longer.

She watched as he shook out his hands in a nervous gesture and as his throat bobbed before leaving the room. She fell back against the pillows desperate to surround herself with his scent while he was gone.

Everything that was happening was odd to accept. But the longer she felt it, the better it felt. She was so afraid after she presented she wouldn’t be the same person. She wouldn’t be Rey anymore. But it turned out, just the opposite was true. The longer she’d gone without the medication the more and more in her body she felt. Like she truly could connect with her arms and fingers and heart for the first time.

Everything around her buzzed with new life.

Her fears weren’t gone. Not by a long shot. She still had no idea what heat would mean for her, or what it may mean to spend it alone. But maybe she could be ready for it.

She could be ready to live the way nature had intended her too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always for reading, your support means the world for me. Every new hit is exciting!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this has been so late, it's been rough trying to be productive with everything happening. But thank you for sticking by!   
> This is the last chapter before the NSFW drops, so just a heads up!

Ben just barely avoided crashing into the wall as he barreled down the stairs towards to sound of his mother reentering his home. Something he was both grateful and furious about regarding her timing.

He was overwhelmed with the feeling that Rey was going to ask him to stay with her. _Be_ with her. The blood in his veins pulsed with the conviction. There was no denying what else she could have been asking, or rather, thinking about asking.

The lingering problem was he still didn’t know if it was his responsibility to say no, given her current mindset. But she hadn’t seemed like she had been mindlessly out of control to her Omega, she just seemed—curious.

Though, Rey coming to his room last night was a bit concerning. Not that it bothered him, but such a bold action coming from such a girl, a girl who shied away from who she was, it could have been an action out of her power. It could have been a side-effect of the suppressant burn.

The Omega separated from her awareness.

But she didn’t come begging for sex. She only came because she knew, somewhere inside herself, that she felt better around him. That she was comforted by him.

His head spun with excitement and distress.

He had no idea what the right thing for him to do was. If she truly asked him to stay with her, he no longer thought he could say no.

“Ben, are you alright?” Leia said, plopping down two pink shopping bags on the couch.Her expression soon shifted from worry to anger. “What did you do?”

“Stop asking that. Nothing.” Ben tried to catch his breath. He’d done so well keeping his composure when he was in the same room as _her_. “She just—“

Leia’s face shifted again. “Oh no, am I too late? Do we need to leave? Do you? Has it started?” She quickly appeared at his side and placed her hands against his arms like she’d be able to restrain him. “Ben, I know you can handle this. Once you are out of the house it will be easier to-“

“No!” He barked and his mother frowned. “No, I’m sorry, I just- I need you to leave.”

“Is she wanting to go to a clinic? I can go get her.”

“No, I think—“ _God, this was uncomfortable._ “I think she wants me to stay. _With her."_

Leia squinted. “Did she _say_ that?”

“No, but she was about to when you came in. I know it.”

“And you’ll say yes?”

“I—“ Ben paused. He really didn’t know what to do. “I want to. _So badly.”_

“If she’s truly not in suppressant burn, she can make that decision herself. She’s an adult.” A sort of relief washed over Ben but it wasn’t gone.He’d experienced burn before, and either she was the most restrained Omega the world had ever seen or she wasn’t afflicted with it.“But I’m not going to go home until she says the words herself.”

“Mom!” He hated how young he sounded. He hated sounding whiny to his mother while essentially asking for her permission to have sex as an adult.

“She’s also off contraceptives, so that may be an issue—“

Ben bit his lip. He’d been a little too caught up in his own thoughts and that hadn’t crossed his mind.The whole biological need for heat was conception and he hadn’t considered the little road black that was the lack of them.

“She’s only been off them a couple of days—“ Ben began before stopping himself, realizing how stupid he sounded. He knew it wasn’t worth the risk for her. To risk pregnancy with the first Alpha she’d ever laid eyes on, days within their first meeting. “If she asks me to say, I can get a contraceptive shot. I don’t mind.”

“You know those have side-effects for Alpha’s in rut.” 

_Ben wanted to die._

“You won’t be able too—“

“Mom, I know.” He slapped his hands against his cheeks, dragging at the skin. “I also went to medical school.”

Leia’s lips went thin as if she were torn. “Look, I can ask Amilyn to fix up something for you. _If_ it comes to it. But you have to wait for Rey.”

“I know that. I feel like we’re talking in circles. One minute you’re telling me you think she’s here for some instinctual reason like she may be my—“ he still can’t say the word. The word feels too real. “The next you think I’m going to take advantage of her.”

“You are putting words into my mouth because you are stressed.” His mother's brow furrowed and there was a sternness in her voice that toed the line of anger. And even though Ben was a fully grown adult Alpha who lived on his own— his mother still had a power over him he didn’t think he’d ever be able to outgrow. At her tone, his shoulders slumped forward.

Leia pointed towards the shopping bags. “Tell Rey I got her a week's worth of necessities. Standard leggings and t-shirts and undergarments. Nothing fancy. Comfortable stuff.” She paused to look back at him. “I wouldn’t have let you stay this long if I wasn’t suspicious about the reasons she may have found you, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to throw caution to the wind. I’ll make a call to Amilyn and see was I can pick up for you. Then when I come back, Rey can tell me the decision she’s made herself.

“I can’t believe you are making a woman ask you, my _mother,_ if she can sleep with me, _your son_.”

“I’m asking for an Omega to assess if she is in the right enough mindset to make a decision she won’t regret. Because if she regretted it, I know you would never forgive yourself either.”

The room became quiet. Silent enough for Ben to hear footsteps coming from upstairs and his heart began to race again.

“I’ll go make the call,” Leia sighed before Rey could make herself known. She turned, her graying braid flinging dramatically over her shoulder in the truest of Organa fashion. Once the door shut he looked towards to stairs, where he was alone again. With her.

He just needed a few more minutes.

“Did Leia leave again?” Rey said, padding down the stairs, not meeting his gaze.

“Just for a minute. She had to make a call outside.”

Rey hummed as her eyes wandered over to the bags Leia left. “Are those for me?”

He nodded. She crossed to the bags and began to shuffle through them, pulling out the simple t-shirts of varying bland colors, leggings of the same variety, and a pair of underwear that she immediately shoved back into the bag, shielding it from view. It was far from a scandalous pair, but he supposed he understood, even though that didn’t bode well for him if she didn’t even want him to see her unworn cotton briefs.

“Ben,” she asked, the fainted of blush on her cheeks, “What’s it like? Spending your heat with someone?”

His throat tightened. “I can’t speak first hand on the heat part of it, but um, it can be nice. The whole ordeal.”

“How many have you… done?” She hesitated on the word as if she didn’t know exactly how to ask, but he supposed it was a fair question.

“I’ve had two Omega partners in the past. Both are now mated.” He paused. “With different Alphas. I hope that goes without saying.”

A brief smile crept up on her lips before disappearing. “I like being around you, and it scares me.”

“I know.”

“You leave the room and even though I know you aren’t far it makes me panic, my heart starts to race. Like you aren’t coming back.”

“I know.”

“So either way I’m scared.”

“I know.”

“But,” she starts, finally looking at him and he swears there is a connection there he’s never felt before, “I… don’t think I want you to leave. I think I want to know what it’s like. Because as much as it scares me, I like how being around you makes me feel. Maybe, just maybe, being _this_ —“ she gestures to herself, “—isn’t bad.”

He can so easily mess this up. A million words run through his head but he says none of them.

“I don’t want to leave and I don’t want you to leave. If that’s something you want too.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry quarantine has put me in such a block. Apologies this chapter was originally supposed to include... well... more... but I wanted to get something out!

She hadn’t meant to say in here.

 _'Here'_ being the ridiculous _Omega_ room, or whatever it was supposed to me, with all the _pillows_ and _soft things_ and _amenities_ and _comfort_.

She’d only meant to grab her phone.

But dammit. It did it feel nice in here. She’d fallen back against the covers trying to unbury her phone and she may have closed her eyes along the way. Her skin was so damn sensitive that even just the silk of the sheets or the minky of the pillows sent a delightful chill through her body.

_And it felt so good._

She couldn’t repress the urge to laugh at herself as she buried herself further into the bedding nook. Like there was something in her blood making her act silly when the honest truth was that this was the first time there wasn’t something in her bloodstream that was making her behave a certain way.

_And it felt really good._

Ben's mother had come back inside after Rey's proposal and sat her down. She'd even made Ben leave the room. Needless to say, having an in-depth conversation with her partner's mother about consensual sex was not how she imagined how her first real sexual experience would begin. But, she supposed, she was grateful to able to talk to someone of her designation. 

Leia had been kind about it. Only wanting to confirm that the decision had been her own.But still, to know that his mother would know exactly what they’d be doing any minute now made her cringe slightly. Then it made her heart race.

Did she really know what she was going up against?

 _No_. She didn’t. She hadn’t done anything sort of like this before and while she knew the mechanics from pamphlets and the occasional video... she really didn’t know what to expect from heat or a rut.

_Would he even go into rut?_

She was making herself blush.   
  
Then everything in her body began to blaze. Still buried in the covers she crossed and recrossed her legs as all sorts of ideas filled her mind and she lurched forward as something cramped in her abdomen and she sensed the faintest bit of wetness between her legs.

This was… _sudden_.She took a sharp intake and breath and held it, if only just from the shock. She had been told she was close, but she didn’t think it would hit her like a bulldozer. Her presenting heat was sudden too, she remembered, but that didn’t stop this from being any less shocking.

And she was _alone_.

Only now wrapping herself in the comforters didn’t provide any sort of peace, but she still instinctually continued to do so. Going deeper into the pile. She didn’t want to be alone. There was no one.

There was a knock at the door and her heart stopped.

“Rey?”

Everything stilled. Her whole world suddenly petrified by his gravelly tone. The scent was so much more potent than it had been just a short time ago.Only now she was terrified to even look at him. Because she knew the second she looked at him, he would _know_. And if he _knew_ … the thought made her heart restart and she began to press her knees together again.

She wanted this so badly and it was terrifying.

“Are… are you alone?” Rey managed. She wasn’t sure if he could even understand her from under all this bedding.   
  
He didn’t respond at first and Rey thought he hadn’t heard her but then she heard a very careful, “…Yes.”

This foreign feeling in her blood, this feeling of want, was so new to her. She’d recognized attraction before but never _want_ , at least not like this.

“Rey, come out here.” Everything in his voice changed then. It was almost like she could see the vibrations of sound surround her and reverberate through her, making her muscles move beyond her control. 

Her eyes peeked out of the covers and he was so much closer than she expected. He was standing above her, on the lip of the bedding, with eyes that were inhumanly black. She’d never seen anything like it. Something so terrifying and intoxicating. 

Slowly. Excruciatingly slowly. He bent his knees, lowering himself to be slightly more on her level, and she threw herself towards him before she could think better of it.

Without shame, she pressed her nose against the crook of his neck and he let out a sharp breath as his hand shot out to grasp her leg. There was a sweetness to his skin as she nuzzled against him, her nerves slightly dissipating until she saw the bandaid against his neck. That hadn’t been there when she’d seen him last.

“What’s that?” she asked, backing away, not even noticing his fingers drawing up her leg.

“Oh, uh, we should talk I guess… before…” The reminder seemed to be more for his benefit than hers. “It’s from a contraceptive shot.Just for safety.”

Rey blinked. How far gone was she if she hadn’t even thought about pregnancy. Hadn’t even cared.

“It does have—er—side effects for Alphas.” The way he said this, he almost sounded apologetic. Like she'd be upset at the news he had to deliver. “I won’t be able to— _knot_ —normally. It will be a much shorter experience, unfortunately.”

She also hadn’t thought about _that_. She’d forgotten that Sex with an Alpha was fundamentally completed differently than a Beta. Maybe this _side effect_ would be for the best for her nerves, now alive again, as she remembered how much stuff she didn't know about how this all worked. 

“I’ve never done this before,” she blurted out and Ben’s hand went stiff against her thigh.

“I— figured,” he said, cautiously gaging her reaction. Making sure to be careful not to upset her with the assumption. “You’ve never met an Alpha before me, so I sort of put two and two together.”

“I could have been with a Beta!” She said, scrunching her nose.

He had the gall to smirk at that as if the idea was nonsense. Rey hated herself that it makes her want him all the more. That sort of smug alpha confidence that should be so unappealing but for some reason isn’t. Then his expression went soft again.

“We can be as careful and slow as you need, just let me know what you want.”

“I just don’t know if I can give you what you want-“

“All I want—“ he started, his breath deep and heavy, “—is for you to love who you were meant to be.”

And his lips, soft as anything she’d ever felt, brushed her own. Her eyes fluttered closed as his arms wrapped around her waist and laid her back into the blankets, his weight now pressing her against them. Every muscle of his abdomen delicately shifting against hers in a way that shot electricity through her veins.

And if this was what it was like to be an Omega, she thought to herself as his mouth moved against hers in full.Each kiss deeper than the last. Maybe she _could_ love it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everything! This is just a separated smut chapter if that sort of stuff makes you uncomfortable, or you would prefer not to read it, please skip to the next chapter!  
> I never write sex scenes too explicitly, I think this is right on the edge of Mature sex scenes vs explicit.   
> So just a heads up! Feel free to skip this guy if smut isn't your thing.  
> Other chapters will reference physical intimacy or intimate acts but not to this degree! Thank you!

From the moment his lips touched hers, everything about him seemed to bleed aggression.

Every kiss, every sound, every clench of his much too large hand was as animal and demanding as the last. And she can taste it on him. Taste it on his tongue and breath and skin as she lets herself play his game. She isn’t sure if she is just becoming bolder or more desperate but the salt in his skin has become more like sugar as she moves her lips to his neck.

And in this moment, she's willing to give him every part of her. A soul for a soul. But something inside her tells her he'd already taken half the moment they met.

At least, that’s what it feels like when he kisses her. 

And maybe it’s silly to think that way when she knows it all comes down to being biologically compatible. Comes down to being two people of a certain designation.

Then as his tongue pressed against her mating gland, just enough to make lights flash behind her eyes, she felt irreversibly bound to him. And as he licks the spot again she actually _whimpers_.

But she doesn’t hate that she feels this way. Or sounds this way. She certainly cannot hate him for making her do it.

Adrenaline fueled by ache and pleasure pulsed so loudly within her that she couldn't remember exactly when the layers of clothing were stripped away, and it barely even crossed her mind that no one had seen her so bare and vulnerable before. She only felt desperation to feel his skin against hers, so much so that any embarrassment she’d thought she’d have during this moment dissipated.

His eyes were still a feral black as he laid into her again, the skin of his chest just grazing the tips of her breasts.

“Are you okay?” he growled as she sucked in her inner lip at the sensation.

She wasn’t sure she could respond.

Heat was blinding in every sense of the word.

It was like living a lifetime in darkness then staring directly into the sun. She can only bury her fingers into his hair and bring his lips back to her own.

While she laid almost completely bare beneath him, everything gone aside from a pair of cotton underwear, in the rush of everything she felt a flash of anger that his sweatpants are still slung low on his hips. They would be so easy to remove to help speed things along and yet he is keeping it from her as she wiggles underneath him, trying to reach towards his waistband. He jerks his hips back, exposing her to an awful, teasing, grin.

“Impatient, are we?” he said lowering his mouth to the shell of her ear, “Is this how you want it?”

Her pulse was so loud inside her head that she couldn’t comprehend what he had asked.

“Some Omega’s like to be flipped over—“ he continued and suddenly her mind is filled with visuals that make her clap her hand over her mouth. “Or you could have more of that control you so desperately crave on top. If you still fear to let the Omega take over.”

She doesn’t know if he’s saying these things out of genuine curiosity and willingness to please her or to just drive her insane.

“Or... we could stay just like this. I can take you through everything. _Step by step_. And see your pretty face while I do it.”

He nipped at her earlobe and that told Rey all she needed to know about his intentions. She pushed him up and the look on his eyes has gone from feral to deadly. Inhuman.

 _Oh._ This must be what happens during a rut. She can feel the shift in him. How he was losing himself beside her. But there isn’t enough logic left in her to be frightened, because all she wants is for him to show her everything he just said. 

“Ben,” she whined, as a new wave of cramping hit her harder than ever.

“Yes?” He tried to move his lips down to kiss her again but Rey’s palms stayed firm on his chest holding him up.

“Will it—“ she swallowed, “Will it hurt?”

She knew what other women have said about losing their virginities. But she really can’t imagine something hurting more than not having him right now.

“Oh no, sweetheart. You were made for this. I promise.” Rey’s let him bow into her chest, gently nuzzling the skin this his nose and mouth. His lips were like silk. So overly gentle that it made her shiver. “ _We_ were made for this.”

His mouth then closed around the raise of her nipple and the soft brush of his tongue turned her bones into jelly. It was unfair. Unfair for such a simple action to drive her this mad. She knew she’d be begging if she had enough of a mind to form an actual word and his hand began to slide down her stomach to the top of her panties.

Everything was on fire. The twist in her core caused her to release and involuntary sob, the noise startling enough that he released her breast to look at her. “No time for fun?”

She wanted to kick him. Or kiss him. Or a million other things that would wipe that stupid look off his face. The look of an Alpha that knew how much she ached for him and him alone. As one single finger carefully glided between her legs, almost giving her something, he pulled back, finally loosening the drawstring on his pants and yanking them down.

_Fuck._

He was impressive. Fucking Alphas and their superhuman bodies and cocks. Biologically designed for attraction and sex and driving Omegas insane. She shouldn’t have been the slightest bit surprised to see that he was just as massive underneath it all as he was everywhere else but her mouth still went try looking at him. Hard and red.

He began to stroke himself. Just enough to showcase his length to her in a way that Rey knew was intentional. Then using his other hand he began to lower her underwear as Rey raised her hips to help.

For a moment, they both only looked at each other, nearly panting. 

It wasn’t until Rey managed a small “ _please_ ” that he lowered himself once more and aligned himself at her entrance.Even just that smallest pressure or presence almost made her burst.

_He was right._

Through her entire intake of breath, as he entered her, slowly and restrained, there was no pain. There was a new sensation, something she could only describe as stretching, but where she had been anticipated pain she only found exhilaration. Relief. Every time she thought he’d been done pushing in he had another inch to give.

Until, at last, he met her with an all-consuming kiss, with her legs wrapping around his hips.

“No pain?”

She nodded, needing to feel him move. Trying to encourage him with a gentle squeeze. He jolted quickly but within a second he obliged. Enthusiastically.

Pulling in and out with such strength she was thankful to be surrounded by so much cushioning as she was pushed back into the lip of the burrow.

His arms wrapped under her back, pulling her to arch up towards him, so his mouth could work at her breasts again. She never had realized how sensitive they were before. _Had they always? Or was it because of heat? Because of him?_

It wasn’t long before her toes began to curl and the match that had been lit inside her ignited something so much bigger than she expected.

She’s experienced an orgasm before by her own hand, at least, she thought she had.

But nothing-- _nothing_ like this as she slammed her eyes shut and her core pulsed with such enthusiasm she could see stars.

As he worked her through the waves, mumbling something to himself, a new sort of stretch began to fill her as she felt the base of him swell. And then his teeth grazed her mating gland.

And she would have let him do it.

But as he barked out his own release, he moved his teeth to the opposite shoulder and bit down. As if it was an instinct that couldn’t be avoided. If that was true she would be covered in bite marks by the end of this.

The hint of the knot was gone almost instantly, as he'd warned her. But he cursed at himself as he rolled them both on their sides. And though she wouldn’t admit it, she was oddly sad about it as well, not to be bound to him like that.

His large arms cocooned her, muttering the words, “I wish I could give you more.”

Regardless of that though, she still felt wonderful. Utterly wonderful. Like today was the first day of her life.

Then suddenly, exhausted. Like her brain was instructing every part of her body not to move, to stay still, to reserve energy.

Ben shifted.

“Where are you going?” Rey asked, her voice filled with panic as her eyes struggled to stay open.

He offered her a small smile and said, “Nowhere, my arms just asleep.” Rey felt his finger wiggle from under her waist. She blushed.

“Don’t worry, I won’t go anywhere unless you want me too,” he continued, his face shifting from content to serious as he moved his hand from under her to her cheek. “I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

Her eyes locked on his and before sleep took her, the thought crossed her that this must be what it feels like to not feel like half of yourself is missing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you next time on: Just another ABO story because I still like this trope dammit!  
> I need to do another edit pass on this, I apologize, but I wanted to get something out!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter again, originally this wasn't a chapter in the lineup, but I wanted another Ben chapter in here since the next few are Rey focused. Working on finishing all my WIPS this month. So fingers crossed updates come quick and fast.

In the moments in which she slept, the high of his rut calmed. When she was tucked neatly against him, snoring ever so lightly, and wrapped in his arms as nothing else existed, he is finally capable of thought.

And he hates himself.

He forgot what an asshole he was during all of this. He forgot what an asshole the Alpha part of him was in full rut. She’d probably come to hate him too once her heat subsided and she could think straight.

Given the nature of heat, she was asleep often. Even though these times are the only times his brain is capable of rational human thought, it was still buzzing and racing every second. Alphas do not sleep, are incapable of sleep, while their partners are in heat. Their hormones kept them awake and alert from a more ancient time before home security systems. It had been more than three days and it was beginning to take its toll. Everything was becoming a little fuzzy. Even inside his own brain words were getting scrambled when he thought.

He looked down beside himself. She was so beautiful curled beside him. Her nose pressed into his neck so even in her sleep she could breathe him in. It shattered him to even think about how perfect she was.

_And how easily this could all end._

He hated that it was almost over.

He hated that any minute she could wake up and tell him, “thank you for your services, but you are no longer wanted.” Then get up, put on her clothes, and leave forever.

But this time, the usual ugly voice in the back of his head gives him hope. He knows it’s different with her. He felt it from the very beginning.

He just needed her to feel that too.

The scent of her heat had been fading. The next time she woke she may very well be done with him. With much chagrin and fragility, he unwrapped himself from her arms and uncovered himself from the blankets.

He hadn’t worn any actual clothing in days but luckily his pants had been just in arms lengths from the outside of the burrow. He reached out towards them and his cell phone slipped from his pocket.

 _'It was nice being away from everything...for a while...',_ he thought, starring down at the device. He grabbed the phone and reluctantly turned it on, just reminding himself it was for Rey’s sake.

Leia had made Ben promise to help set Rey up with a new doctor once their _‘dealings’_ were over. But sending this message would mean acknowledging it was over. He knew by the fact that his body was desperately trying to sleep meant just that. He yawned, vision going in and out of focus. 

He was able to draft a somewhat coherent message to Amilyn Holdo, his mother's medical partner, then clumsily attempted to put on his pants from inside the bedding.

Rey’s eyes blinked open.

“Are you leaving?” she asked, a sadness in her voice that Ben could admit he felt comforted by.

“You need food—“ he said, his words like felt like marbles in his mouth. “I need—“

She shifted out of the covers. She seemed a little disorientated herself as she propped herself up on her elbows. Her suntanned skin now exposed to the daylight.

Ben winced. It looked like every inch of her shoulders and breasts were covered in small bruises and bite marks. At the time it had been extremely fun— but now—

“I told you it’s fine. I kinda liked it.” Rey said after a moment of following Ben’s eyeliner. “I definitely liked it.”

Despite the many blush-worthy scenarios the two had found themselves in the last few days, this still made his cheeks hot.

She continued to gaze up at him, her small smile turning into one of concern. “Ben, lay back down.”

“Hmm?” he said, trying his best to fight his body.

“I know you haven’t been sleeping. You look like you are about to collapse.”

He tried to push himself up off the bed but wobbled at the attempt.

“I’m fiiiiine—“ he said in a drawl that would have confirmed her suspicions.

Rey groaned, crawling over to him and pressing her weight against his chest to flatten him back against the blankets. “You lot are really stupid, you know that? Go to sleep you giant lug. I’m fine. Quite happy in fact.”

Then she pressed her lips against his and maybe he was already dreaming. The other Omegas didn’t do that. They didn’t kiss him afterward. They moved on. They found their mates. They didn’t stay and kiss him.

That voice inside his head told him to just let the Omega take care of him. To accept her kindness and gratitude and the wandering hand that slid down his abdomen. He didn’t have to stress himself this moment. He had been a good Alpha and treated her well. He could enjoy her still.

Her hand had barely reached his waistband when the phone in his pocket began to vibrate. Ben jolted at the sensation and Rey released a small laugh against his cheek as her hand shifted into his pocket instead. Heading him the phone he lazily swatting against it in an attempt to answer.

“He——“ he started. _Uh oh._ His mouth was slack. His mind one stage above mush.

“Ben.” The voice said from the other line. His mother, he was pretty sure.

“Itrit messoldo soyour wohavetoall—“

Rey blinked, attempting to hold back giggles and all he wanted to do was pull her into his embrace. Dream with her and kiss her—

“Benjamin- is Rey there? Can you put her on so I can talk to someone who can form words? Holdo said you messaged her.”

 _That was quick._ Ben would have rolled his eyes if he could focus them long enough to do so. Of course, Holdo would keep his mother in the loop about everything.

Rey was close enough to hear the request over the speaker and turned the phone towards herself. “Good morning.” She said, her cheeks tinged pink.

“How are you feeling, dear.”

She cringed as she thought carefully about her words, “perfectly well.”Her hand covered her face. 

“I am guessing by the sound of my son, he’s going into post-rut hibernation.”

Ben couldn’t even garner the energy to protest but she wasn’t wrong. He just wished she wasn't so forward about everything to an Omega who was just starting to understand how being an Omega worked. 

“I—“ Rey put the phone against her chest and said to him, “is that what this is?”

He nodded. At least, he thought he did. He may have just flopped his head.

“I— think so?” Rey responded after a moment.

“He’ll be out of it for a while. It the meantime, if you are feeling up to it. I want to schedule something for you with a new doctor. My partner Amilyn is fantastic. She’s not an omega herself but may as well be. Really educated about suppressants and can get you started on alternative and healthier methods of maintaining an Omega's cycle.”

Ben groaned. He really wanted to do all of this without his mother’s interference. How was Rey going to think he was a capable Alpha if his mother kept doing everything for him? He could take care of her by himself.

He would have told Leia that too if his entire body wasn’t jello. Why Alphas hadn’t evolved past this particular habit he didn’t know.

As Rey hummed in response to Leia, his eyelids gave in to the heaviness they felt. The words the two exchanged became nothing but white noise.He was asleep within seconds. A useless Alpha. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! and your patience :D


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey Everyone! Just as a warning this chapter discusses pregnancy and the feeling that involve fertility struggles in an A/B/O context, also has a scene where Rey get's her blood taken. This may not be the chapter for you, and a future chapter may not be the chapter for you. I'll always put warning beforehand, but if you want a quick synopsis, Rey goes to get some blood tests and the doctor informs her of some things to expect off suppressants. 
> 
> The scene break marker on is safe to read, but short!
> 
> Thank you for your patience!

Rey knew she was in deep, but she didn’t expect to drown. She knew the Alpha and Omega community was different than her Beta friends but something about sitting in a car with an Alpha’s Omega mother after you just had repeated sex with her son for multiple days would never sit comfortably with her.

Leia didn’t ask about it. Thankfully. She asked about other things. Her clothes. If she was hungry. What her hobbies were. But still, the unspoken topic of what had occurred the last few days weighed heavily.

It also didn’t help that after Leia had dropped her off at the doctors and a nurse had taken her into a patient room she was greeted by “oh, your the omega Leia was talking about! I’ve known Ben since he was in diapers,” when the doctor entered.

Doctor Amilyn Holdo was extremely understanding and kind though. She had pastel purple hair and bright eyes that made her look almost supernatural, but according to Ben she wasn’t even designated. Just an outlandish Beta.

“We’re going to run some blood tests. We’re going to check your hormone levels just to be sure you’ve stabilized after the suppressants,” she had said after a few uncomfortable questions about her most recent Heat experience. She turned to prep an arrangement of needles and Rey must have turned ghost white and she turned away. “Squeamish?”

“Maybe,” Rey said.

“Well, we shall talk about something else to take your mind off of things.” That’s when Rey felt the pinch. “So, it sounds like Heat was more bearable with an Alpha?”

Not exactly the thing she wanted to talk about, but it certainly made her take her mind off of the needle sucking the blood out of her arm. “I’ve… I’ve actually never really had a Heat off of suppressants.”

“Oh goodness, that’s no good.”

It was bizarre hearing a doctor express that sort of opinion towards an Omega. Especially a Beta doctor. All her Beta doctors seemed so pleased when Rey had been able to successfully fend of Heats with medication for so long.

“Well, better now than never. Those pills were made for Betas to feel safe in a world they don’t understand. Not for Omegas. I suppose they have their purpose short term, but long term they are just poison. I assume no mating occurred, correct?”

It felt like Rey had been punched. “Pardon?”

“Between you and Ben, I can’t see your mating gland under your hair, just want to confirm.”

“Oh no. We just met. We didn’t mate.”

“It’s not uncommon to mate so quickly. Around 50% of mated pairs do so after their first shared Heat.”

That sounded insane to her. Beta couples dated for years before they married and even then it seemed like half of them ended in divorce.How could a designated pair bond themselves for life after just a few days?

“The other half usually mate soon after or go their separate ways if it wasn’t right. Don’t worry, it doesn’t mean anything was wrong with you either way. I just wanted to know what I should expect from your mating hormone levels.”

“What would that mean?”

“It would usually imply certain side effects to expect during your fertility cycle. Ben was the one who used birth control correct?”

Rey had forgotten that this was the doctor who provided him with the shot.

“Yes.”

“Well, I’ll check your levels just in case. Leia told me that she was worried you were close to undergoing suppressant burn, so we’ll just make sure everything is in the clear. But you seem alright. All done!”

Rey let out a deep sigh that she didn’t know she was holding and Holdo handed some vials to a nurse who left the room as promptly as she came. Not quite looking at Rey with malice but some sort of curiosity.

Holdo shook her head but said nothing of it.

“We will call you if anything seems off or we want to run any additional tests, but I do want to talk to you about some things you might experience in the next few weeks. I know talking to Leia about these things might be kind of uncomfortable given the situation, but I’m as educated about Omegas as I can be without actually being one.”

“Are things going to be that different without suppressants?”

“You’ll be happier in the long run. That is what is most important. Though, as I’m sure you are used to with your normal menstrual cycle, emotions can run pretty high. A fully developed Omeg’s fertility cycle can be even more so. If there is a particular spike in your mating hormones, I’d recommend staying around Ben’s company for the next few weeks. It helps.”

“I—I can’t. I start classes again back in the city.”

Holdo twisted her lip before going indifferent again. “I want to be honest about what you should be prepared for, your feelings are totally normal.”

Rey suddenly felt sick with worry.

“Even if an Omega knows she isn’t ready for pregnancy, it can feel devastating to know pregnancy hasn’t occurred. It’s instinctual in those who are designated. I know that sounds silly or impossible, but I’ve treated a lot of Omegas. I want you to know the possibilities.”

That did sound impossible. She and Ben had taken precautions for a reason.

“The Omega part of you can have a mind of its own sometimes. Biologically that part of you wants to reproduce. The heightened presence of a mating hormone often makes that desire more prominent.”

“But Ben and I didn’t… _mate.”_ Designation terminology still felt so foreign on her tongue. Like it wasn’t meant for her to use.

“The hormone can be produced without a bite. It can be produced if the desire was there.” Holdo’s voice went faint. “You don’t have to tell me, that’s unimportant, but I want you to think about if there was a part of you who wanted it to happen.”

 _Yes_. _Every time his teeth grazed her skin I wanted it. Every kiss, every touch, every thrust I wanted it._ “I don’t know.”

“When do you plan on returning home?” She continued seamlessly. 

Rey opened her mouth to say “when we’re done here.” But that’s when she realized she was thinking about Ben’s home, not her actual home. For a fleeting moment, she thought of her home as with him.But her real home was back in the city. With her friends who had no idea who she was. Where she could never admit the truth. Where she always wore a mask.

“I don’t know yet. Soon.”

The doctor nodded, pulling a clipboard close to her chest. “You must feel like you’re on _20 Questions_ or something.You must be itching to get out of here. Leia and Ben have my personal number if you need anything at all, please reach out.Otherwise, we’ll call as soon as the results are ready. “ She stood, getting ready to leave. “Also, apply some ice to the bruises. Will help them heal quicker.”

Rey’s face went bright red. She hadn’t done a good enough job trying to cover all of the bite marks.

—

Rey savored being able to smell him again. Her fingers had been tapping restlessly the entire ride back to Ben’s, but once she and Leia got out of the car and she could scent him again it felt like she could finally breathe. She didn’t even stop herself from leaping up to this door like an eager puppy.

Leia had the keys, and she had to wait for the older woman to get there, but even being this much closer helped.

He must have felt a comparable pull because before Leia reached the door a very disheveled and fatigued looking Ben opened the door. His arms wrapping around her in an all-consuming embrace that knocked the wind out of her in the best of ways.

She felt-- wonderful-- with him. When he touched her. When he held her. When he showed that he still craved her.

She felt a huff of air against her neck as Ben breathed her in. As if he had lost her for years and they had been, at long last, reunited.

“You should still be asleep, Ben.” Leia scolded, shoving both of them through the door as they were still bound around each other.

Ben grunted something nonsensical and gradually began to let go.

“Go back upstairs. Now.” He looked like a dog who had gotten spritz with a.spray bottle for misbehaving which made Rey smile just slightly. Then something started to echo in Rey’s head. 

_‘I was afraid she wasn’t coming back’_

Rey wasn’t sure if she had actually heard something or had just strongly felt it, but she said aloud, “I was always going to come back.”

Leia furrowed her brow, not understanding but Ben’s eyes went wide with recognition.

“I’m going to fix Rey some dinner, make sure she’s all situated. Ben. Go back to bed. You should be asleep for at least another twelve hours.”

That recognition seemed to turn to dread at the thought of leaving her. But even a grown Alpha was compelled to obey his Omega mother as he stumbled awkwardly back towards the staircase to his own room. Not the den for the first time in days.

_‘She’ll leave’_

The thought—the feeling— in her head rang again. A thought that wasn’t hers.

“I’ll be here when you get up. I promise.” She was compelled to say and Ben turned back to her, looking at her like she was a puzzle he couldn’t quite figure out.She had a feeling her expression matched.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the delay on this one. Don't worry, it will be finished. I got caught up in writing something new, but don't worry that won't see the light of day until both Initial and Climb are finished! Climb should be done next then finishing up this one!


	13. Chapter 13

Rey woke to the incessant sound of buzzing with an Alpha’s large arm slung over her waist. That Alpha's arm holding her firmly and warmly against his torso.

While the buzzing continued, he didn’t even budge,Rey did her best to free one of her arms from under herself and reached towards the source of the noise.

Rey had returned to Ben’s room not too long into the night. She’d spent the next few hours after he had crashed with Leia, making simple conversation about her life, and _thankfully_ that conversation avoided anything that involved Rey’s activities with the older woman's son the past few days.   
  
Strangely, as she went to his room, she hadn’t even considered not being invited into his bed with him, though she supposed she should have, but as soon as she’d gotten close enough to his bed, he’d half-consciously pulled her down next to him. A pure act of instinct, not that she minded, if anything it was a relief.

She had never slept so well as she did next to him. All her life she’d been a light sleeper out of necessity, but next to him, it was as if her body finally let herself feel safe.

And if this relationship between them was destined to end, she’d at least want to reap to last few benefits of being well-rested.

She managed to grab her phone and pressed it to her ear as Ben remained unmoving aside from the rise and fall of his chest.

“Hello,” she said lowly.

“Ms. Jakson?” A kindly voice said on the other line, way too alert considering Rey had just woken up. Rey looked to the digital clock next to Ben’s bed. _10:30_. It wasn’t _that_ early, she supposed, but _damn_ , she’d slept nearly twelve hours. 

“This is her speaking.”

“Oh! Hello, this is Kaydel Connix from Doctor Holdo’s office. I was wondering if you had a moment to speak about your blood test results from yesterday.”

 _“Um,_ yeah that’s fine,” Rey looked over her shoulder back at Ben who was still knocked out. His breath was deep and steady against her cheek. She tried to wiggle free once more but accepted that it wasn’t worth the effort.

“Great, let me grab the doctor really quickly, she wanted to speak with you herself.”

A pit formed in Rey’s stomach. It was never good if the doctor needed to explain the results to you. Her mind panicked and raced with the possibilities. _Had her suppressants had more severe side-effects than she’d previously expected? Had they found something completely unrelated wrong?_

“Rey?”

“Good morning,” Rey said, still in a whisper.

“The same to you,” The woman responded, thankfully not sounding too somber, “so I just wanted to speak to you about your blood work from yesterday, but first I want to ease your mind that you are perfectly healthy. Nothing to worry about there.”

Rey doubted that.

“I just wanted to inform you and talk with you about some things. Hormone levels really. We did find some pretty dramatic spikes that we usually only see in an Omega who has recently mated.”

Ben shifted, the first sign he'd shown of waking all morning. Rey’s heart stopped.

“What does that mean?” She said, her voice barely audible, trying to cover the receiver with her other hand to stop Ben from overhearing anything even if he was still asleep.

“It can mean a few things, but again, it’s perfectly healthy,” Holdo reaffirmed, “since you were showing early signs of suppressant burn, it could just be an intense reaction to being within an Alpha’s scent range. You mentioned you hadn’t been with an Alpha before this, correct?”

_She hadn’t even seen an Alpha in person before this._

“Yes.”

“That possibility isn’t unheard of, but of course, there is a more obvious answer.”

“We didn’t— he didn’t—“ Rey started, her once frozen heart beginning to pound. _Had she somehow forgotten that it occurred? That was impossible._ She’d been very aware he’d never bit close enough to her mating gland. She’d even been upset over it at the time.

“Well, yes, usually a mating is jumpstarted, so to speak, by a bite, but there are cases where it happens instinctually. A lot of designated people actually hope for this. Even though there rarely is any doubt in the process, it really takes any of that pressure off.”

“Oh.” That was all she could manage as her mind went dreadfully blank.

She wasn’t ready for this. She wasn’t.

She didn’t want to be an Omega because so much of their lives were driven by instinct and not by choice and to know she didn’t even have a choice in _this_ —

_Something so binding and permanent—_

“But it may not be that?”

All of this was so new and so raw to her. She was just started to accept the little things and maybe even take enjoyment in them.

Holdo paused like she hadn’t been expecting that response. “Um, yes, as I said, these spikes can happen with Omegas that have little experience around Alphas. Though it’s a little dramatic for me to truly think—“

“Rey?” Ben’s voice, low and gravely from sleep, vibrated against her ear. It shot straight through to her core.

“Well, thank you so much Doctor Holdo,” Rey said quickly, hoping Ben hadn’t heard anything. “Is there anything else—“

“Oh no,” she said, some lingering surprise still in her voice, “I just wanted to let you know that there are reasons for anything intense you may be feeling but it’s not something to be worried about.”

Rey extended a parting pleasantry before hanging up and tossed the phone away from her like it was on fire.

“Was that Amilyn?” Ben blinked. Sleep and rising concern in his voice. “What did she say?”

“It’s— it’s—“ Rey raked her brain for a lie. She wanted to find _something_ but found herself unable to. “She said something about overcompensating hormones and spikes and stuff.It may have had to do with coming off the suppressants.”

“A surplus in mating hormones?” Her heart broke at the hope in his words. She knew she heard it.

“She said it could be caused by the fact I hadn’t been around other Alphas before. You are the first one so… with that and the suppressants it could be just a reaction or something.”

“That’s…convoluted.” He said carefully like he knew she was leaving out something.

 _Shit_. Rey had forgotten Ben was also a medical professional at one point and had probably known exactly what Holdo had said.

“Oh,” Ben added, realizing that Rey was avoiding the topic on purpose.

“Ben, this is a lot for me. I’m not ready to talk about that part, okay?” She blurted out but he actually looked relieved at the response.

“That’s fine.” He paused, his thumb stroking her hip, “I just—whatever you are feeling, or are worried about feeling, I feel it too. I just want you to know that.”

Rey didn’t respond. She could only nod and let herself be held against him. She still enjoyed that. She liked how she felt with him. Loved it. She hadn't ever known she could even feel this way. Hadn't known that just the warmth of someone else’s skin could lead to this sort of elation.

“But... if you think it may lead to some answers—“

“I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

“I know,” Ben said, but he continued regardless, “I want you to know there’s a place we can go. A place with other people like us. Alphas and Omegas. It’s not too far.It could maybe give you some reassurance about your reaction to me in particular. That your reaction to me is--or isn't-- unique.”

“Ben.”

“Just think about it.” He pressed his lips to her hairline and lingered for a bit longer. Rey’s heart finally slowed and her eyes fluttered closed. Despite half a day worth of sleep, she instantly went back for a few more hours. She hadn't been sure if Ben had fallen back asleep as well, but he hadn't let her go the entire time regardless. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such the delay but I've nearly finished this thing over Nano so should be weekly uploads from here on out. I just need to do edit passes for the most part! The chapter is short just so I can get it out quickly so CHAPTER COUNT WENT UP.
> 
> I appreciate those who've stuck around! Thank you!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this month has gone way too fast, here I was thinking "It hasn't been a week yet, and it's been 2.5 weeks. YIKES.  
> Sorry about that, I swear this fic is in the editing stages of being done I just lost track of time.

_The Den_ was an aptly named bar— or the Alpha equivalent of a bar according to Ben- that was on the outskirts of the town.There was apparently a large enough designated population within the 50-mile radius that made an exclusive spot for them a necessity. 

“There’s only a couple bars like this in the state, maybe a dozen or so in the country, not enough business to make them profitable,” Ben said on their drive over. “Whoever runs them really just wants a community space for our kind, even though we tend to be quite solitary by choice.”

“Do you go often?”

Ben got quiet.

“No. Not for a long time. Even then I only went when—“ he stopped himself as he refocused on the road.

“Hookups?” Rey smirked.“It’s okay you can say it.”

“It didn’t happen a lot.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself.”

But still, the air got heavy between them.   
  
“But a lot of mated pairs go too, just for socialization. Since—I’m sure you’ve noticed—most people aren’t too enthusiastic about our kind. They think we’ll do something horrible to them because our senses work differently. Or turn them into one of us? As if that was possible...”

It was Rey’s turn to go silent now. The designated community had been seen as a bit of an oddity to Betas, but it was an oddity to her as well. So much of it didn’t make sense to her and she wondered if it was partially her own fault for never _wanting_ for it to make sense.

When they pulled outside the woodsy building, the bar looking like a large cabin itself, Ben leaned over to Rey with a serious-- somewhat embarrassed-- expression. “Before we go in, I’m going to do something.”

The waft of his scent from his sudden movement made her face heat.

"What?” she said, unable to look away from his lips, unable to think about anything else from the fact that it was very possible her body without her conscious knowing had chosen him for the rest of her life.

He brought his hand up to her jaw and tilted her head so her neck was more exposed to him. “An unmated omega, just off her heat, is still a seducing smell.”

She stiffened.

“I’m just going to mask your scent. It will do nothing to your mind but will deter anyone from bothering you inside—“ he swallowed, now looking at her nape, “unless that’s what you want? A bunch of unmated Alphas bothering you?”

“No,” Rey said quickly.

“Then lean over here for a second.”

And she did. Her pulse heavy under his hand and she was sure he could feel it.His open mouth pressed over her gland in such a way that made her gasp from the warmth of it. And for a moment she thought he was actually going to bite her until she felt the wet press of his tongue against her. Just a few languid strokes and she felt euphoric.

Until there was a loud fist banging on the passenger's side window that caused the two to jump apart.

“Hey! You know the rules! Are you trying to start a riot?” A women’s voice chimed out, but when Rey looked out the window she saw something but a small fist.Rey peered over the edge of the car and saw a petite older woman pouting from below.

“Hey, Maz,” Ben grumbled and her expression changed quickly.

“Solo? Ben Solo is that you?” She awkwardly jumped to try to peer in better and Rey assisted by just opening the door. “It is you! You’ve come back! I never thought I’d see you again!” She paused, adjusted her glasses to look at Rey, “Who’s this?”

“Maz, this is Rey. She’s from the city and hasn’t met many people like us before. Thought I’d introduce her to the locals.”

“He must like you if he cares enough to socialize for you,” Maz said.“Well, come in, come in! The usual crowd hasn’t changed much! They’ll be happy to see you!”  
  
Ben grimaced just slightly before opening his door to get out, Rey doing the same. Maz adjusted her glasses and stared at her up and down, and it felt for a moment she was being appraised. 

“Go on in, Rey, I’ll be right behind you,” Ben said as Rey stood still in place, "You can make your own initial observations without me." She nodded, giving a slight nod to the woman who was still starting and heading towards the door. A saloon-style door that was a bit overkill to the theme. “I’m just going to talk to Maz for a second.” Ben yelled over before she went in. 

Rey jolted to the noise on the inside, loud and joyful, enough so that her entrance hopefully hadn't stood out as something unordinary. The last thing she wanted was a bunch of eyes on her. Perhaps that's why Ben didn't want to come in with her. If he had known people there his entrance might have been a spectacle. 

But as she walked inside, she was filled with the strangest sensation. It wasn’t anything that she could put into words, but it was the first time she had seen, in person, anyone else that was like her in a group.She wasn’t rare or other. She was in a perfectly normal community.

A perfectly normal community that smelled absolutely _abhorrent_.

The wave of scents hit her all at once like a storm. Each individual pheromone code clogging her airways. It took all her strength not to turn around and find some sort of clean air, or even to find Ben and breathe him in like an emergency inhaler.

But that wasn’t the point of this. The point of this was to prove that she’d react the same way around any Alpha. But the fog of stench around her seemed to prove otherwise. It was just too many scents and she couldn't differentiate between them creating one awful flavor.

Still, she looked around the room, the Alphas and Omegas seemed to be separated by at their own will. The Alphas nearly howling and barking at each other over pool tables and other bar games and the Omegas gathered around tables in intimate conversation.

“Are you okay?” Rey jumped as Ben showed up behind her. It was only then that it seemed like the entire establishment turned to face them.

“Yeah, it’s overwhelming a bit,” she said, trying not to scrunch her face.

“Solo! No way!” An older Alpha amidst the crowd bounded over, followed by a small pack. “Didn’t think I’d ever see your face again!”

“Hey Tai,” Ben grumbled.

His scent rushed Rey and she was thankful it wasn’t as terrible as the rest of the bar would insinuate. It just wasn’t alluring and Ben seemed to eye her reaction.

Tai seemed utterly uninterested in Rey as he began to drag Ben back towards the crowd, “we have so much to catch up on, you're talking to a mated man over here!” he said proudly, gesturing to himself.

That must have been why he had smelled so completely normal.

Ben resisted his friends pull as he looked back towards Rey, “Do you want to be alone?” he said softly.

“I’m fine.” Alone was preferable at the moment. It was distracting having him so close when the point of coming tonight was for her to meet other people. It was just then a group of Omegas started waving frantically at her from across the room from a booth.Rey knew none of them but they gestured wildly for her to come closer as if she were an old friend.  
  
Rey looked behind her, confirming they weren't waving at anyone else, but one of them mouthed "Yes, you!" and Rey reluctantly sauntered over.

“So, you’re with Ben?” Another of the Omegas said as Rey stood at the end of the table.

The group was composed of five women, all well-curved, soft, and lovely. The dictionary definition of an Omega that made her feel inordinately out of place. Two of them looked to be rounded with child, but Rey knew not to comment on that, despite the obvious sign that they were both nursing cups of water rather than booze like their friends.

“I came here with him, yes,” Rey stammered, forgetting that she had smelled like him too.

“You don’t have to be shy about that here, we haven't seen you around here before, where are you from?” Another woman chimed in, a red-head who was a bit older than the rest.

“We haven’t seen him out in ages, not after,” the first Omega said, then quieting her voice as if Ben could hear, “not after what happened to Han.”

Rey only nodded, not answering any questions as all of them continued to talk at her.

“But you seemed to have convinced him to socialize a bit! Which is good. Leia’s a good friend and I was getting worried about him. She’s so worried about him.” The red-head continued.

“I’m so glad Ben’s found someone, he’s been looking for so long,” a long-haired brunette with a cup of water said.“He’s a bit rough around the edges but overall enjoyable…”

The rest of the women seemed to laugh at a joke Rey wasn’t in on and she cracked an awkward smile in an attempt to pretend like she had a semblance of an idea of what was happening. Then a wave hit her again and Ben was back at her side, eyes wide.

“The man himself!” Another Omega said, her speech a bit slurred.

"To think I thought I broke your heart for good," the brunette said again, joyously, and Rey's heart fell into the pit of her stomach.   
  
"You think too highly of yourself," Ben said, his words dreadfully carefully as if he was trying to tell the woman to stop talking. But it was too late.   
  
_She shouldn't care. Rey shouldn't care._ She said it didn't bother her to hear him talk about being with other Omegas before but the was before one of them was in front of her. She was so lovely and soft looking, and Rey could only feel like the lesser version of her.   
  
"Oh come off it, I'm just teasing you." She continued, but behind Ben's tired eyes he looked furious. "God, you did always take everything way too seriously."  
  
She even _knew_ him. Probably better than Rey did.   
  
_She shouldn't care. She shouldn't care._

“I’m sorry, if you’ll excuse me.”Rey's vision blurred with tears. She was stupid. So stupid. Why the hell did she feel like this.

She spun on her heel and went straight for the door, unable to see if anyone was paying any mind to her more than dramatic exit. Praying that those Omegas weren't laughing at her. Praying Ben hadn't joined in. 

Rey collapsed into the passenger seat of Ben’s car, thankful the door was unlocked, and her eyes burned when Ben opened the driver’s side door.

“I need to go home.”

“I didn’t know she would be here.”

“I need to go _home_.” That's when the tears began to fall. They flooded her eyes she tried her best to wipe them away but they wouldn't stop coming. 

“We’re going back to the house now.” He said quickly as he fumbled with his keys.

“No. My home. I need to go back to my home. I have to get out of here. Take me to _my_ car.”

“You don’t have your things!”

“I.. I…”

“Rey, I’m sorry,”

“You didn’t do anything!” She almost screamed and Ben stiffened with wide-eyes. “I shouldn’t care. There is no reason for me to care.It was humiliating. We’ve only just met. I shouldn’t care that you’ve been with her the same way you’ve been with me. But I do. I care _so_ much. It feels like my heart has been ripped out of my chest and I can’t stay here. I need to go home. I’m not ready for this. This is the reason they give us suppressants. No one should feel like _this_.”

“It wasn’t the same.”

“What?”

“I mean, it was in the basic sense of it but it wasn’t.There’s a reason we didn’t… continue. It wasn’t the same.”

“Ben I… I can’t do this right now.”

“Rey, please, I’m sorry," he reached for her hand and Rey pushed it away. 

“Just… let me go home.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh I'm forever sorry, this fic is basically done literally just time gets away from me and I forget to update! It's just my stupid brain forgetting then POOF a month.

Her apartment was foggy. Not literally foggy but everything was covered in a cloud according to Rey. The best way she could describe it to herself was like she’d been staring at one focal point for hours on end and had finally looked away. But her eyes never refocused. It was awful.

When she returned, she was met with a hounding of questions as she walked in the door. Both Finn and Poe already there as if they were waiting for her.

For a fleeting moment in the midst of the interrogation she considered telling them. Coming clean about all of it. But she was tired and miserable and just wanted to go to bed.

_“I went to a weekend spa.”_

_“You were gone for longer than a weekend.”_

_“They gave me some complimentary days because I looked so worn out.”_

That was something neither Finn nor Poe could argue with and she left them to their own devices to flop onto her bed. Her bed was still unmade from when she had left in the frenzy in what had seemed like a lifetime ago. Rey had expected dust to puff up like a cloud when she collapsed onto the comforter but there was no such thing.

Foggy.

Things hadn’t ended well. Ben had told her she wasn’t in any state to drive home -- _repeatedly_ \-- but she felt like she were about to suffocate there. It was either leave or suffocate. In the end, he let her leave. Even if she hated him for it. Maybe it was better to drown, get it over with, and finally admit what she'd actually been feeling. 

Rose had come by with tea early the following morning after Finn and Poe messaged her over the course of the night demanding some sort of emotional backup.

She plopped on the edge of her bed, with two steaming cups, and swirled them in her hands.

“You look like shit for someone who just went to a spa.”

“Thanks.” Rey groaned, taking the cup when Rose held it out to her.

“You know, you can talk about it if you want. I don’t think it’s weird.”

“The Spa?”

“Sure, _the spa_.” Rose got quiet. “My sister is one too, just so you know.”

Rey chose her next words carefully. “A workaholic?”

“Sure, if you want to call it that,” She laughed, “or a person who also needed occasional visits to a _spa.”_

 _Rey's heart skipped a beat. Could she know? There was no way she knew._ “Everyone needs relaxation sometimes.”

“Rey, it’s okay. I know. Finn and Poe don’t have any idea… but I managed to figure it out.”

“… _How_?” She choked, still unsure if Rose really had it right.

“I wish I could say it was something more exciting like I saw the traits in my sister that I saw in you or say you smelled like her, but I have no such senses.But I shared a bathroom with my sister growing up, saw all the different medications they gave her and... a year or so back I was looking for ibuprofen for some cramps and Finn suggested you might have some so I went into your bathroom and saw the bottles. Same exact stuff.”

Rey propped herself on her elbow, being careful not to spill the steaming tea as her heart still pounded, “why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because I didn’t want to force you to say anything until you were ready. My sister was really embarrassed about it at first too. She still doesn’t like me talking about it but things got better after she found Jess. I didn’t want you to feel pressured into anything.”

“…Thanks,” Rey said, meaning it. 

“So which _spa_ did you go to? I remember my sister tried two different ones up north a bit when we were younger.”

Rey bit the inside of her cheek. “Well, I actually… didn’t go to one.”

Rose blinked, sipping on her tea before her eyes went wide with realization, “No. Fucking. Way.”

“Don’t make a big deal of this.” Rey felt her cheeks burst into flames.

“I didn’t even know you were seeing anyone!”

“I wasn’t! I—“ She was flooded with the memories and shook her head, “I can’t explain what happened. I just found him. Like one day I woke up and I felt really really weird and just drove and drove until I... _found him_.”

“… really?” Rose leaned forward, a small smile pulling at her lips but she restrained it.

The words went dry in Rey's mouth.Saying the words out loud of the circumstances around their meeting overwhelmed her. It wasn’t normal. What she felt wasn’t normal even for an Omega.

She fought against finding him for so long until her body had taken over completely.

And _maybe_ she could admit that _maybe_ it wasn’t just a coincidence that she found him. _Maybe_ a part of her called out for him the second she presented and she’d been silencing it until it broke free.

“Yeah.”

Silence overcame them again.

“Where is he now?”

“He lives up north a bit, I… I stayed for a bit, but then it all of it got to be a bit much. All the Alpha and Omega feelings. It was a lot.”

“How so?”

“It’s so out of my control, Rose! I’m not sure if your sister ever worried about it but it scares the hell out of me. It’s like my body and mind are two separate things and… it just knows things.And that scary.”

“Most people are afraid because they don’t know if it’s the right thing.”

Rey flipped on her bed, setting her tea down on her besides table. She knew this. She knew she should consider herself lucky. But her whole life had been filled with nothing but uncertainty and to have something in front of her that was so certain she didn’t know how to accept it.

“So you feel like this guy was right for you.”

“I—,” she knew the answer, and the fact that she knew is why she didn’t want to say it. “I can’t explain it. It was like feeling complete for the first time in my life. I never thought I was missing half of myself until I knew what it was like to be with someone like that. And I don’t want it with anyone else. I just want it with him.”

Rose bit her lip but Rey knew she was trying not to smile again.

“Don’t laugh at me,” Rey bit before she had the chance.

“I’m not! I’m happy for you!” She said, extending her arms as if she was throwing confetti, “I think you’ve been holding yourself back for long enough.”

That made something in Rey’s gut twist.

“Look, Finn and Poe are dummies.We love them, but have they even tried to ask you what is wrong? Like really ask?”

“They asked me a million questions.“  
  
"Were any of them somewhat the right thing to ask?"  
  
"...no" 

“They care about you so much, but they are never going to guess the full extent to what is going on unless you tell them. Do it on your own time, but I just wanted to let you know you can be your full self with me. You can tell me about all of it okay. No more keeping it locked inside 24/7.”

Whether it was relief or frustration, Rey didn’t know, but tears welled in the corners of her eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> Whelp, guess I'm joining the Omegaverse brigade.  
> (Also, the first chapter seems kinda dark route? I swear it's not.)
> 
> This is my next multi-chapter fic! It's gonna be fairly short, (10-15 chapters probably)  
> But just a fun cooldown fic to write when I'm in the mood!  
> I hope you all enjoy, thanks for the support on Initial (Which has reached 900 kudos O_O) and my recent one-shots!


End file.
